Posted by Andrew on 20/11/2017, 11:53 am, in reply to "Having trouble with mindset and gradual exposure"

HI David First off I think you are putting yourself under pressure to feel that you have to desense every day! Can you tone it down a bit to two or three times a week to give yourself a rest? Secondly progress in anything is not steadily upward; instead it is up and down in the short term, with a long-term improvement? So can you remind yourself of that? Thirdly is your hierarchy in place? That is, are you desensing at the right level, or are you jumping up and down the hierarchy? It does take some organising but not doing so would be like training for a marathon by running 100 yards one day, two miles the next, 800 yards after that! Now the mindset. A paradoxical approach is needed here : i.e. the opposite of your gut reaction. Your mindset should be one of not caring whether or not you pee. Odd isn't it? Remember you can't make yourself pee, you can only get into a suitable situation, think to yourself you are in the right place and let things happened in their own time, not caring what happens. You can always leave and come back later. The analogy I have started to use is walking the dog. The dog comes to a lamppost and starts sniffing. you cannot make it pee. It will decide if and when it does so. You as dog walker just stand there to give the dog a chance to go if it wants to. Before the workshop, you were like a dog walker who, if the dog did not pee after 2 seconds, would yank it away and continue walking. Dog walking is a peaceful exercise; can you think of desensing in like way? BTW a misfire shows you are practicing. Andrew

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