Posted by Dave S on 29/9/2011, 5:33 pm

Hi all, I have been visiting this website for some time now, however I have not yet had the courage to come forward and post a message. Reading all your messages has made me realise that I'm not the only person out there who suffers from this because it doesn't half make you feel your the only one sometimes. The earliest I remember having this is in secondary school. I have always been an extremely shy person and sometimes during school I would go the full day without going to the toilet, mainly because at break times it was impossible to go (even in the cubicle) because the toilets were quite a rowdy place and because I was too scared to ask to go during lesson times. Not good I know but that was just how I dealt with that part of my life. I have pretty much gone through the rest of my life with it being kind of a minor annoyance which I could deal with quite well. the only times which I really struggled were when I was out in clubs or pubs with friends but I would always get through it without it being too much of a problem. I didn't really think about it then until I was in the situation where I would have to go. Recently however it has begun to take over my entire life. There's not a moment that goes by now where it isn't on my mind! I can't seem to think about anything else and It's definitely getting harder and harder to go even in locked cubicles. It has got to the point where I have turned down nights out because I feared I wouldn't be able to go when I'm out and even when I do agree to go out I start to worry all week what the toilets are going to be like, especially if its somewhere new. I tell myself that I am normal and that I can beat this thing but at the moment it just seems like an impossible task. I find myself jealous of my friends and other people who can just use a urinal without even thinking about it, I can't even make myself go and stand at the urinal no matter how hard I try and how much I tell myself it will be ok. As soon as I enter the toilets these days my heart starts to beat faster and I can feel the anxiety just taking me over. I am 32 years old now and I have come to a conclusion that I need to get this sorted before it completely swallows me up.

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