U.K. PARURESIS TRUST: Re: Long Flight ahead

Hi Si

As you say, it is all in the mind. The CBT approach to this anticipatory anxiety is as follows. You cant stop the anxious thought popping up. But what you can do is to challenge it (as if it is coming from an outside agency; we call it the Boo Monster) by asking "where is the evidence?"

"You wont be able to go" Answer "I have always been able to go before"

"They are watching you go" Answer "If they are interested in my going to the toilet, then they have got a problem, not me!"

"They are wondering why I am going so often" Answer "as above, plus they will assume I have diarrhoea"

Remember that in first class, the staff will do anything to accommodate the customer. Why? Because they want you to fly again, it is so lucatrive for them. They are used to unreasonable behaviour from demanding clients. In your case you are not being unreasonable and you are not being demanding, so they wiill be well disposed to you.

When in the toilet, it is yours for as long as you need it. Take a book with you to help you relax.

Avoid eye contact with passengers and staff as you go and return, otherwise you start wondering why they looked as they did i.e. why did s/he smile, why did s/he not smile?

As you are familiar with the toilets, you dont need to check them out. Avoid going too soon, when your urge to go is small and exacerbated by anxiety. On the workshops we give the participants a chance to find out to what extent they can let their bladder fill up, and how they think they need to go, when in fact they dont. Eventually when they have a strong but not uncomfortable urge, they find it easier to start a flow.

Standing to pee in an aircraft toilet can be a bit awkward especially if you are tall. So sit instead; it is more relaxing. It is also considerate as there is less chance of peeing on the seat or floor!

To repeat: tackle your Boo Monster by challenging it for the evidence. Get stroppy with it, dominate it, tell it to f**k off.

Comments?

Andrew