U.K. PARURESIS TRUST: Re: Long Flight ahead

Thanks Andrew, that's helpful advice and of course the rational, logical side of me (which surprisingly is what dominates both my decision making and relationships on a daily basis) knows that you are absolutely right. I have the ability to say to myself that worse case scenario - ABSOLUTE worst case scenario is that at some point after I arrive in Canada, I will have to see a Dr and have a cath administered. I know that my life is not at risk, however my irrational side tells me that in a plane toilet on a long haul flight, I am in mortal danger!

As you say, I have successfully managed long flights before - indeed much longer flights with much more challenging circumstances at the other end. I am trying to tell myself that at least this time, the other end is a hotel room with my wife and no time pressure.

Oddly, my paruresis is improved in recent years. For me, the decisive factor is how much importance I place on voiding. If there is no perceived danger - ie I am near to either a cubicle or within a reasonable distance of a 'safe' toilet then I can go. It's when I feel somehow 'trapped' by the situation - eg long plane trips - when the opportunity to go outside for a walk and calm myself down is not there that I have real difficulty. Also the anticipation of the plane moving as I'm trying to relax gets me a bit as well. I tried to explain to my wife, that if the toilets on the plane were down a long corridor, and there was a bank of 10 loos in a row, I expect I wouldn't have a problem. But when there's essentially a single box in the middle of a load of people, that's a nightmare...
But like I say, short haul is never a problem, because I know that I can go when I arrive and there's no issue with me holding it in for xxx hours. It's just that 8 hours + is on the cusp of what I can hold in, and that in turn creates extra pressure on being able to go at the destination!
It's a topsy turvy pain the f**ing neck. I hate it.