Posted by Si on 9/4/2013, 1:43 pm

Hello, 1st time poster on here. I've suffered with this for nearly 20 years with varying degrees of severity. For a while I found it difficult go anywhere outside of my own home but there have been periods where I've not suffered too badly at all. Every time I have a plane journey to do, I get ridiculously anxious however. I'm just about to fly trans-atlantic (about 8 hour flight) and I build the trip up for weeks in advance, convincing myself that I wont be able to go on the plane and crucially, that if I don't manage to it on board, the pressure on going when I get to the airport or to my final destination will be so immense that it will stop me from going - hence the viscous circle. I have become very good at selling myself the worst case scenario. However I have forced myself to go on plenty of flights. In fact, on short haul flights, when I don't feel any pressure to go, I can always go freely. It's just when I think I must go that I develop this flight reaction... I've done (much longer) flights to Hong Kong, Australia, west coast USA etc and every time I've been able to go on the plane. Often after 4 or 5 attempts at visiting the toilet. However past success does not seem to make each subsequent trip easier. Why is it that I don't think to myself 'Well, you managed to go last time, so of course you'll be able to go this time as well...' Each time I have a reason why 'this time will be different' and I really don't seem to be any better at coping with the anxiety build up the week before. I am lucky enough to be travelling 1st class, however this adds another dimension to the stress. There are so many cabin crew to look after the passengers, that they're monitoring every move. I will have a sense of them knowing that I'm in the cubicle and feel increased pressure as a result. I am in a routine of holding my bladder daily for 8 hours having avoided fluids beforehand and I produce about 350ml in that time. Figuring that my bladder must be able to hold at least 500ml, I should be able to last a good 10 - 12 hours without going which gives me some solice. I don't think my paruresis is that bad anymore. If I can go once during the flight I'll be fine - I know that. I just want to know how to stop myself obsessing about it before hand, which is the biggest self fulfilling prohecy going. Of course I'm not gonna be able to pee if I think I've got everything riding on it. Any advice or thoughts appreciated

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