Posted by mark on 19/12/2011, 6:39 pm

I have not been on this site for some time as I have made no progress and still have all the same problems as when I first posted about 20 months back. I travel long distances for work and drive past service stations prefering to pull into a layby (as long as its empty) and pee into a bottle. i still have all the same social problems i.e. what to do at the pub or out shopping etc. I have just realised while reading someones earlier post (they made a comment about school) that i can remember a time when I did use the urinals at high school but remember one occation while having a pee that a bunch of older lads came burting in and one of them pushed me into the wall while I was peeing. After that i used a cubicle but then a similar thing happened where a lad kicked the door open. The edge of the door hit me in the head and caused me to become dizzy. I wonder if this was the start of it all but i am confused about it as I also remember another time when much younger, a small child, when I was in bed i wanted to get up to use the toilet but my parents wouldnt let me get up and instead held a potty for me to pee into. I couldnt. I sometimes think if I could get to the route cause of the problem then it may release me from it as I know at some point I didnt have a problem so why cant I go back there. I know one thing, I am so fed up with having to plan ahead and cutting trips short. My pee flow is now so weak from streaching my bladder that even when I do go people wonder why I have taken so long. Its because it takes that long to empty. Even when finished i hang around as i know there will be a bit more to follow and then a bit more after that. i dont think my bladder has any elasicity left, its more like a crisp packet than a balloon. I always go for one last short squirt before bed and my wife has made comments like "well are you going to the bathroom before I turn the light out to do what ever it is you do". At least i can acctually do it even with this pressure but only because the TV is on in the bedroom and she forgets about me while watching plus she cant hear me. I only go because otherwise I will want to pee in the night and cant go without the cover of the TV noise. How do we get to this, its mad, making all these huge detours through life just to pee like any normal person or any other animal for that fact. Thanks for listening, my life is seriously affected but at least I can see the humorous side.

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