Posted by David on 6/1/2011, 7:33 pm, in reply to "Re: New to the forum - looking to get my problem fixed"

Hi Mark, Thanks for the reply and tips. I hadn't even thought about using service stations in this way. Cubicles at service stations like you say is easy but as soon as you add in your suggestion about keeping the door open it feels me with gut wrenching dread. However that does seems like a challenge and a goal to aim for. I think small steps first so as recommended on some of the information pages here I'm going to work on keeping the door open at home and going when my partner is around. In the past 6 months or so I have managed to go whilst she was in the shower and I was sat on the loo with the shower curtain acting as my 'protection', the sense of achievement was very uplifting and encouraging to try and push the boat out more. Still pretty lame though - I had to be sat on the loo!!! Small steps. I've never thought about self catherisation, I didn't even know it existed! Does it hurt? And how quickly can it be 'done'? I used to have major problems going even behind closed doors of a cubical but most of the time thats OK now. The thing that really gets me down is always having to rely on a cubicle being free and what I see as a major embarrassment of heading staright to the cubicle or coming out of when when a friend or family memmber is there. I recently went on holiday with my family and had felt ridiculous making up excuses to my father about not knowing whether I needed the loo or not so I didnt have to go with him. For him to come back from the toilet and me to then say 'actually I think I will go'. The feeling it left me really hit home that I have to sort this problem out. Get it beat and get on with leading a normal life. I have read about the workshops and like most I assume, the idea feels me with fear. I'm going to try reading the book first and some self styled decensitising to see how far I get. It's like a personal challenge now to see if I can beat this thing myself. When I end up coming to a workshop in 6 months time I would be happy for you to say I told you so and I will be happy to buy you a beer!! If anyone is reading this it would be great to hear any success stories of people who can now pee at a urinal with other people around them. I don't know about you but for me that would give me a lot of hope! Thanks David

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