Posted by Simon on 29/9/2009, 10:06 pm, in reply to "Re: Beginners Workshop Feedback"

Just to update anyone who might be reading this, I attendend a beginners workshop recently (see above post) and have been desensing as much as possible. This has included going into pub toilets and other public toilets and faking it, which has released a lot of anxiety, just knowing i can go into a toilet without the burden of ''will i, wont i''.... I started a college course since the program, and on the way have been using the public toilets at victoria, mainly to fake it, but have peed a few times... anyway, i digress. I was desensing tonight (read having a few drinks) in the quietest pubs in my area (but with poor toilet designs from my point of view). Anyway, it was quite busy everywhere I went but I continued and peed in a few urinals. The most interesting thing that happened though (and peeing is getting less and less interesting since the course) is that I went to the toilet, and on the way someone was walking in front of me, also to the toilet. Not too long ago this would have filled me with dread and I would have changed direction, not used the toilet, but I thought '#### it I'll use the cubicle, I got nothing to be ashamed of.' However, with me behind him, the guy himself went into the cubicle (left the door open though) leaving me with the urinals to myself. Result! I achieved, performed, whatever. Remind me to add this to my diary. I am fortunate I have been able to desense in very controlled surroundings, but at the same time, if anyone is struggling, all I can say is take the time, find somewhere comfortable and work on your hierachy. I am still parutetic, but I am motivated, dedicated, and above all I believe that I can undo almost 20 years of bad habbits.... (I'm 25 now but I think age and time are irrelevant if you know what you want in life) Good luck everyone. I am sure I will have worse days than this, but at the very least this will remind me to stay positive when the shit does hit the fan !

408