Posted by Jen on 2/4/2009, 3:34 pm

Hi All, I've just discovered this website after years and years of bladder shyness. I did have a look at the discussion board before reading the website properly and was slightly put off my the male dominance, but having read the bit on the women's page I thought I'd do my bit and share my story. Today was the first time I googled 'shy bladder' to see what came up, I have to admit I had never heard of Paruresis and didn't even realise it was a recognised condition, but I'm so glad that I've found this site and other people that suffer from it. I'm 23 now, but have had problems peeing in public places as long as I can remember. I think the problem started at school, because I can remember that I always used to wait until I got home. So I would go before school and hold on all day until 4pm. It was as I got a bit older and more independent that I realised this may be something that affects me for the rest of my life. And I still do it, I simply can't go when there are other people in the loos, or even when I know people are waiting for me, or know that I'm in there (at work etc). It's worse if I've told the person I'm with that I'm just going to the loo - once I know they're out there waiting I can never go! It's got slightly better since living with my fiance (past 2 years), he knows about it and I can usually go comfortably at home if it's just us, even with the bathroom door slightly open. But if we have guests there's no way I can go (actually one exception - after drinking enough alcohol I can usually go without a problem, I guess I just don't think about it!!!). I did tell a couple of my best friends and that helped enormously, as I know that it doesn't matter how long I take because they know. I think all the 'holding on' over the years has taken its toll on my bladder though. I get frequent UTIs (apparently these can be caused by 'holding on') and since the last one (several months ago) have had constant pain in that region and the doctors don't know why. I had a hospital appointment about it today (could I produce a urine sample? Of course not!!!) and they're going to do a cystoscopy to try to find out if i've damaged my bladder. So I guess I should've addressed this paruresis problem years ago. Moral of the story - do your best to sort it out before it causes more serious damage! I've just realised how long this post is so I'm going to stop now because I could go on about this all day. I think this site's great though, am very glad i've found it and all of you. Jen

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