Posted by Geoff P on 16/3/2009, 1:31 pm, in reply to "Re: childhood abuse and paruresis?"

Hi Pete, My heart went out to you as I read your story. And please don't think you "dragged on". All of us on this site are suffering from a social phobia - paruresis, and many of us have other, associated social problems. We want to hear your story and we want to be there for you ( I think it's a pity there isn't a symbol amongst the 'faces' for HUG!) I wouldn't say I suffered abuse as a child, but I was certainly over protected by my Mum. (Have a read of my first messages back in January) There were reasons for this which it would not be appropriate to go into. When ever we had people round, my Mum would always answer their questions for me, even when they were directed at me. This carried on until I went away to college at 18. I still find it extremely difficult to relax and join in in social gatherings, though it doesn't sound like my problem is nearly as accute as yours. Maybe you could try to look at yourself in a new light. Look at your strengths - don't tell me there aren't any, 'cos something attracted your partner to you! . What's really great is that you've found this site, and us , and have started down the road to sorting this problem. Sounds like a workshop would be great for you, as it would enable you to meet other guys in the same boat as you are. You'd find yourself being accepted for who you are. Meeting others would really help. I'm down in Devon. I don't know if that's anywhere near you but if it is, it would be great to meet up. Do keep in touch. We're here for you! Cheers mate, Geoff.

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