Hi friends,
Well, after a lifetime of this infuriating condition being a monkey on my back, it looks like I am having to face my biggest fear.I need an op in hospital this year, ( I'm getting old!) and reading the literature there's a good chance of post operative urinary retention. This is something ordinary folks take in their stride but for me its a big potential problem. Basically when I "lock up" its a weird feeling or rather non feeling, as you all know, nothing happens despite urgency.

If I have the Op and afterwards am asked to pee, to confirm all is working in the plumbing department, there's a good chance my AP will kick in and I wont be able to go.

I may get lucky and be given some time and privacy but I'm not banking on it.

So here's the dilemma; I may not know if I have temporary urinary retention until the anaesthetic wears off ( quite common) or if I simply cant go because I'm surrounded by people and under stress.

If I tell them I cant go then standard procedure is a catheter for a day or two, but when that is removed, you guessed it, same problem... if I cant pee is it my AP kicking in or the effects of the anaesthetic.

As I said its my secret nightmare, I always knew it was coming down the track one day and here it is...

Thoughts / advice anyone?

Hi Ricky

The anticipation is worse that the event itself. Hospitals do have cubicle toilets on the corridors. Wait and see if you lock up. If you do, you can say that you know from past experience that you will not be able to pee on the ward, and that you need a private toilet and no time pressure. Then take a book or newspaper with you and allow yourself a minute or two to let the initial anxiety fade away. It's probably not worth going into the ins and outs of paruresis; just basing it on your experience should be enough.
How does that sound?
Andrew

Hi Andrew thanks. I think my main point though, is the difficulty between the medics deciding if I have post op retention, or paruresis, assuming I explain it to them.

Most sufferers know that feeling of not having the urge to go even with a full bladder. Nothing kicks in, we all know that horrid feeling. But I am no medic and I don't know if that's the same feeling that comes from the post op retention due to the anesthetic. Its probably a different process in the body.

If its shy bladder I can go home. If its a post op temporary retention problem they cant ( or shouldn't) let me go home until I pee. But not knowing the difference could be tricky.

I am thinking of asking my GP for a few intermittent caths, if the worst comes to worst and I cant pee, I'll just go home anyway, self cath and wait to see if the anesthetic wears off. If it doesn't and I'm still locked up after a day or so, then its back to hospital, as if I cant pee at home I will know there's a different problem to simple AP. Its unlikely to get to that but I want to be prepared.

Hi Ricky, good to see you putting a post on the forum.
I went into hospital not too long ago & when I was admitted, the nurse said to me there was a bottle at the side of the bed for when I needed to go to the toilet.
I immediately told her that I can’t use bottles because I can’t relax if there are people around me & she said that’s ok. The toilets are down the corridor. There’s one on the left and one on the right.
The staff have no need to know why you don’t want to use a bottle nor is it any of their business.
There should be absolutely no reason why a member or even a group of staff should be there while you urinate & you have the absolute right not to allow any member of staff to be in your presence whilst urinating.
I was frail during my stay so always asked one nurse to take me to the toilet & I was taken by wheelchair and the nurse waited outside until I came out.
Different nurses took me depending on who was free or on shift at the time and none thought it was strange I wouldn’t use a bottle.

Hi Karl, interesting story. I agree and reckon it will work itself out somehow, usually does; but I think you'll agree most sufferers of AP overthink things. In fact I reckon that's what caused our problem the very first time we all locked up as younger people, and overacted hence embedding a previously non existent phobia in our brains. Probably this event was lost in the mists of memory for most.

It still doesn't answer my concern though; if I do lock up (however unlikely) , I wont be able to tell if its post op problems due to the gas, or AP. I could end up being kept in and catheterised when its not needed. That's why I am probably going to sort my own catheter out at home but we'll see what my GP says to that!

Nice to hear back from you Ryan.
I totally agree that us sufferers overthink things. I got to understand how some of that thinking is irrational when I attended the workshop & read the paperwork that we all took home.
I had a fear of being in the line of sight of men for so many years and the one thing I particularly wish I’d realised when I was young was that if I had been in this line of sight when I was using urinals outside of my town then so what? It’s not as if I would be recognised in the street again apart from possibly the same day. We’ve all walked into public conveniences & unavoidably seen men in the line of our sight at the urinals, if we hadn’t done so then it probably wouldn’t cross our minds that others could see us in the first place. We’ve seen these men through no fault of our own & we don’t ever recognise them again. They become like what’s known in the paperwork as a composite punter. It’s just a shame that we don’t think of this when we’re developing a.p but I guess that maybe just the way the young mind works.

Have you thought of having an appointment with your consultant to specifically discuss your concerns about post-op retention & to tell him you suffer with a.p and your thoughts and worries.
I’m sure he will be very understanding & knowledgable and you won’t be the only man to be in the same predicament.
Good luck with the op and with the concerns you have raised.