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i wanted to tell me story to people who would understand.
ive always sat down to pee because it made more sense then standing and using public toilets was fine until high school, i dont remember when but i just gradually felt more and more uncomfortable if people where near by but if i waited a bit a would eventually get going, then one day it just didnt. i waited for a long time and nothing so i left the toilets feeling really embarrassed i even flushed the toilet so people would think i used it. this was all over years and i managed with it thinking it was just me but now i never know when i can go except in a few locations. i recently went round to a friends friends house for fireworks night and used a toilet only meters from the party but then last weekend i go out to an old friends house party and couldn't go. since i was drinking i had to make up a stupid excuse and get a taxi home at 10pm. after that i decided to search on line for others who might have the same problem and have a solution, i havent done anything yet but ive ordered the books and ill do what they say to see if it helps. im only 23 and i want to have a social life outside of my pc
thanks to anyone who actually read all of this it feels good to tell someone.
Re: 23 and bladder shy
Posted by Mark L on 24/11/2011, 6:17 pm, in reply to "23 and bladder shy"
Hi Kevin,
I can relate to pretty much everything you've posted dont worry! Im also a young man myself lol. Glad you finally searched for this condition and found the UKPT.
The books are a good idea, but ideally you need to get booked onto the next workshop. They sound daunting, but are great fun and you will achieve so much in just one weekend. Have a read through some of the other posts and the reviews
Keep us updated with any thoughts/your progress with the books etc, and remember it only gets better from here!
ps what were you doing up at 4:51 am this morning?! hehe
if i have the money ill go to the next workshop in london, im sure it will be helpful. ive been reading some of the other posts and its kinda eerie how similar we all are not just the bladder shyness but how it progressed and the way we feel about it. ive been seeing a lot about self catheter (dunno if i spelled that right lol) so i looked it up and my first reaction was cringing and saying out load f**k no and closed the web page but after some thought i remember how desperate ive been b4, i remember trying to piss myself because it seemed better then the pain tho ofc if the cubicle was no good the middle of a pub wouldnt be any easier. i will try the book i ordered but i can see how even just having a catheter with me would relieve a lot of the pressure i feel when going out.
if anyone uses a catheter i would like to know a few things like how much does it hurt if at all and how far does it go in?
btw i was up at that time because im unemployed and time has very little meaning to me lol so when im tired i sleep and when i wake im up could be 5am or 5pm changes all the time
Most people cringe at the thought of a catheter so dont worry! I was worried about a stag night and a flight to america, so I went to my GP to ask about self catheterisation.
He agreed that it was a good idea, but most GPs will advice against it and say theres risk of infection etc etc..... They will go down the counciling route. But its your choice and you must insist it is the best option. Point them to this site if need be (Andrew can send you some literature).
I was refered to the GP to check nothing was wrong, and to make sure he was happy to let me use them. He then referred me to a nurse a couple of weeks later, who showed me how to use them.
They are small, fold up and you can carry 3 or 4 in each pocket if you want to. You must clean your hands (although admitidly I never have (naughty I know!)) You basically push the tube up and all the way into the bladder, then the urine magically flows out! It takes getting used to. Its a very unpleasent feeling when you first do it, it kinda hurts as its going in, then its ok when urine flows. When its pulled back out, again its quite unpleasant.
To be honest, you get used to it and I will happily use one if I ever need to, id much rather be able to go than have the thought of being caught short, in agony etc etc. The pain is bareable, its just uncomfortable more than anything but its a bery small price to pay.
I got a perscription for them, so have a big box full! As you said, carrying one in your pocket reduces anxiety enough to not actually need to use it (most the time). Its such a great feeling that you have a 100% GARUNTEED means of going.
Let me know if you need any more info..
Mark
Re: 23 and bladder shy
Posted by Danny on 18/1/2012, 10:42 pm, in reply to "23 and bladder shy"
Hi Kevin. I too have a shy bladder. I am 31 1/2 now and had the problem for over 20 years. Had lots of problems in that time which I would like to share with you. I was on a plane to Florida and the only toilet available was at the very front where everybody can see you enter in. OMG. When it was quiet halfthrough a meal, I saw my chance and entered only to be trying to pee and had to give up after 5 minutes. When I finally had one it was at the hotel in Florida after 12 hours since I last passed urine. Another time when I was in America, the public cubicals had gaps in between the doors and high doors where ANYBODY can see your feet and peep in. Because of this, I cannot pass urine cus people can see me. I had NOWHERE else to go and I was bursting for a pee. In the end, I went in and had to sit down and try to pass it that way. Someone did look in between the gaps which pissed me off. Then I had a brain wave that did help me at time of hour of need...... I began to push pressure on my bladder back and forth and It did let me pass urine. I still use this technique to this day and recommned anybody to try it. Another time I am was 12 years old and I was at school during break. I used to walk from block to block to find a cubical that I could pee in. I used to wait until the area was quiet or no-one in. There were time where I could'nt pass urine as there were no locks on the cubical doors which I had fear someone could open the door and see me or I could hear people around. Times I had to miss it and go through lessons bursting fot the toilet. Another time, I am at a nightclub 3 years ago and needed the loo. There were ONLY 1 toilet, no lock on it and 7 people queing up behind me waiting to go it. One time I have to hold the door and times I could'nt pass urine. The only time I could do it is when I am pissed which I have no cares and it REALLY helps lot but it is vertally impossible when I am sober. Another time I was despearte to go when I was on the motorway, I cannot pee into a bottle in the car at the back in secret so I go to a petrol station with ONLY one toilet again. I went in and I made the next person wait 10 minutes and after that I STILL could not do it. I had to go along my car journey bursting fot the toilet. I hope other people don't have to suffer what I have to suffer. Just seek help. I really want to see my doctor and get it sorted out. I just have to have the courage to do so. I hope I can and go to see a specialist about it so he can treat me and lead a normal life like everybody else. E-mail me and I hope you get it sorted out Kevin. Regards
As you now realise, you are not the only one, and plenty of guys can share your bad experiences. Get yourself onto one of our workshops; guys who have attended a workshop have posted feedback on this forum - just look for the word feedback.
