U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

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its almost gone

Posted by The Therapist on 12/4/2011, 7:03 pm

After 20 years of pauresis its finally coming to an end. Been treating myself with a CBT approach over the last year and using systematic desensitisation and its got better and better. There are so many things I can do now I couldnt before. Packed toilets not a problem anymore even if people are queueing behind me at the urinals. Its been a long road with occasional setbacks but Im pretty happy with where I am now. Treating other people with anxiety disorders has helped me a lot. Seeing how other peoples safety behaviours actually intensify their anxious thoughts, emotions and physical reactions has helped me understand and treat my own problem. And I have finally accepted that its not the big deal we all think it is. I have told quite a few people now and theres very little reaction from them. This has helped it a lot. A year ago I had to plan everywhere I went around the toilets. It occupied my thoughts every day.Now I rarely think about it. Will I ever have a pauresis attack again? Possibly yes but the fact that Im not the slightest bit bothered if I do is why its very unlikely.

Re: its almost gone

Posted by Mark L on 12/4/2011, 10:36 pm, in reply to "its almost gone"

Hi, its always reassuring hearing from someone who has come so far. Well done! Out of interest, what level were you when your AP was at its worst?

Also, what is normally the best approach to deal with someone who has anxiety problems in general? How would you deal with someone who had constant negatuve thoughts with everything they did? Iv heard that the body can get used to drugs, thus making them not a permenant solution.

Cheers,

Mark

Re: its almost gone

Posted by The Therapist on 17/4/2011, 7:20 pm, in reply to "Re: its almost gone"

I could use cubicles most of the time but not always when it was at its worst.Occasionally had problems at home if someone was too close to the bathroom. Could never used a urinal. I would get a panic attack if someone came in.
Obviously I dont know your full history so can only give general advice. Self hypnosis or mindfulness meditation (as taught by some CBT practitioners) can be very useful for calming the mind and putting your worries into perspective.
Although medication can play a part I believe that it is too easily prescribed and rarely addresses the root cause of peoples problems. There are various forms of psychotherapy and counselling that are much more effective but generally have to be sought privately due to NHS waiting lists. In Wales where I live you can find hypnotherapists and psychotherapists for as little as £30 per hour. If you want to treat the pauresis, I recommend that you find a therapist who has had CBT training.

Re: its almost gone

Posted by Sam D on 12/6/2011, 9:53 am, in reply to "Re: its almost gone"

That's news great to hear.
I've been treating myself for 2 years now (since attending a workshop).
I believe im almost there, but have had a few set backs.

The Therapist, were you quite an anxious person before, worrying about other stupid things in life? Other than hypnosis and meditation what tips would you use to over come negative thoughts?

Re: its almost gone

Posted by The Therapist on 12/6/2011, 8:47 pm, in reply to "Re: its almost gone"

Yes when I look back I was quite an anxious person. I went through a phase of health anxiety and also had a flying phobia years ago.

As for the anxious thoughts it depends on the nature of them. For example General Anxiety is treated in a different way to OCD type thoughts. Whatever the type of thoughts if they are at a level that is affecting your quality of life I recommend that that you see a CBT therapist. Have a look on the BABCP website to find one in your area.

Re: its almost gone

Posted by Sam D on 13/6/2011, 7:45 am, in reply to "Re: its almost gone"

Thanks, for the info.
Is Hypnoanalysis, the therapy you have used? If so how many sessions did you have?

Re: its almost gone

Posted by The Therapist on 16/7/2011, 9:16 pm, in reply to "Re: its almost gone"

No I didn't use hypnoanalysis as it wouldn't really be the appropriate tool. I just tried a direct suggestions of relaxation but they didn't work. This was before I studied CBT. When I studied CBT I got a much better understanding of how it was my irrational beliefs (e.g. that everyone is really interested on whether I can go or not.) that needed addressing. I did some behavioural experiments (the core of CBT) and it helped a lot because it showed that my beliefs were irrational. (The primitive parts of the brain involved in anxiety disorders cannot learn new beliefs from a book or a teacher, it only learns from ones own experience.)The experiment I used was to go into a loo when I didnt want to go and try and stay there as long as I could and observe if anyone was looking at me strangely.It was hard at first but in the end I managed to outlast 3 people. Nobody even glanced at me.My irrational belief was much weakened after this and things improved from there onwards. In another experiment I also tested my belief that people will think Im weak or weird if they find out that I am pauretic. I have now told about 20 people and had no negative reactions even from people I know are piss takers (excuse the pun).I can go about 95% of the time now and the odd time I cant I just wait it out until I can and it doesnt bother me. If I feel a rush of anxiety I just let it pass. I know that running out would set me back.

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