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I'm 21 and a student, and have had this problem for a long time, but it's only really been serious enough for me to consider going to a workshop in this last year or so. To summarise, I often have problems urinating in cubicles, and assuming I can shut the door (in some places you cant't cos its bust and won't swing shut) and there aren't people trying to knock on the door or anything, I can normally go within a minute or two (but with pretty high anxiety about the whole thing). It can really be a problem, because most of the time I am out in public is the evenings in pubs and clubs, where they are busy and I'm with my friends, so this can be a serious inconvenience sometimes.
It was a hard decision, but I decided that I would go to the manchester workshop to try and get some help.
I had no idea what to expect, and was pretty damn nervous, and continued to be for the first evening, but you will quickly start to settle down as everyone is very friendly, and there was a huge range of different people from all kinds of backgrounds and ages.
Your not forced to do anything, you could probably sit there in silence the whole time if you really wanted to Even if you didn't feel like trying the gradual exposure exercises (which you have complete control over), the lectures are worth going for alone. They will really change your attitude to how you can get confidence back and relax when coping with your anxiety.
I had no idea how I would do in the gradual exposure stuff, but I ended up reaching my goal pretty quickly! You can start off however you like, but in my case I went for door shut, tv on loudly and my buddy on the far side of the room by the window (also the bathroom has a loud fan). If you don't like having someone that close you can do whatever you want, have him a floor below you in the hotel if you really like.
Eventually I got to having them stand just by the bathroom door with hardly any noise at all and the door wide open, so this was really great! I also got the chance to really take my time and practise letting myself relax completely, which was an important lesson for me that I don't think I could have allowed myself to learn if I hadn't gone to the workshop.
But the main and most important thing I got out of it was a complete attitude change and confidence gain. I would guess that most sufferers of AP aren't particularly self-confident, either as a result or a cause of AP - so this course is worth going to alone just for that, to build confidence.
I would really recommend doing it - your mindset will change for the better, and hopefully your performance too
Glad to see you attended the workshop. Bet you're glad you did now! I should have done it when I was your age (as I was at uni) but I didnt. I ended up hardly going out in the evenings and now (24 today) it has stuck with me. OK I save alot of money by not buying drinks but Im used to it now so dont mind!
I found the same thing, were I exceeded my top goal by a mile, on the first day! It also stays with you, so once you settle back down to the real world, its still in your mind and everything becomes easier. Now you have the knowledge you wouldnt have had before to progress at your own pace.
Please keep a diary or update us on here to let us know how you get on. It isall very encouraging to read.
Hi Mike, Just wanted to send my congrats. You've been really honest in your story and I have to say, that's been one of the most helpful things I've found about this message board. I haven't been to a workshop but just joining this community is such a help. I'm really glad for you that you've started to sort this so early. I'm 53 and can only imagine what a difference it could have made to my life to have been free of this years ago. Good on you! Keep us in touch with your progress. As Mark says, it's a real encouragement to the rest of us to hear of someone elses success. Cheers for now, Geoff.
Sorry it's been a while since I've posted anything... But I'd like to describe how it's been since the workshop. I have made some progression, although nothing major and nothing all that consistent (but often progression is in fact inconsistent... in a way).
If the urinals are empty or if there are many of them and I can stand far away from anyone else I will go for it and take my time. I've had a couple of nights now where I have done this and been able to go. Although if people come and go while I'm trying or come close to me that will cause me problems.
In a way there a lot of situations where I feel like it's easier to try for a urinal, because often in a cubicle the sound really hits me a lot harder and puts me off, but in a busy place where lots of people are using urinals then a cubical is my only choice.
Our main local nightclub has a horrid toilet with about a 6 man long urinal troth with a mirror opposite it so you can check yourself and your bits while you piss - who's bright idea was that? I have no idea. Anyway, I usually avoid this like the plague, but I went with a couple of my friends (one who knows I have the problem) on a random night when there weren't more than like 20 people there. I managed to pee at this urinal about 4 times I think, a couple of the times with my mate there and the others when no one else was there, but could have been about to walk in, so that was good practise. Although, we've done it so much now that it's actually easier for me to go with him than by my own worrying that someone might come in...
I've also just had a new guy move into my house, so I completely feel like my safe toilet has just been turned upsidedown and that will probably take a week or so to adjust to.
Sometimes, I have a strange way of thinking when I'm trying to go, I like to imagine I am a tree rooted to the ground not going anywhere - try it sometime, it seems to help haha
Well done for sticking with the desensing. Progress, as you say, is up and down, wth hopefully an upward trend.
As for your club trough; this is at the top of anyone's hierarchy of challenge; so if you manage there, excelent, but if you misfire, that would be expected at this stage.
Your mate who knows about it; any chance you could do some desensing with him in public at the level you should be desensing at? As you say, having him there helps, so it would help you build up confidence. A guy who came on a workshop did this; he was careful to progress in small steps, and has come out the other end; having his mate with him to support him was a major help.
New flatmate; tell your Boo Monster your toilet has a door and a lock; and that the flatmate is not interested in your peeing habits! The evidence for that? Imagine asking him if he is interested :-)
Even if you didn't feel like trying the gradual exposure exercises (which you have complete control over), the lectures are worth going for alone. They will really change your attitude to how you can get confidence back and relax when coping with your anxiety. 
. You've been really honest in your story and I have to say, that's been one of the most helpful things I've found about this message board. I haven't been to a workshop but just joining this community is such a help. I'm really glad for you that you've started to sort this so early. I'm 53 and can only imagine what a difference it could have made to my life to have been free of this years ago. Good on you!