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find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
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Fed up of this problem, really really need some help!!!
Posted by Adam on 10/8/2008, 2:26 pm
For years now i have had a problem using urinals but never really thought it was that much of a problem, then progressively my problem has been getting worse, like i started to struggle when going to a football match whilst using the cubicals, but still that wasnt that much of an issue, i would just hold it in until i got home. Then when i was on a night out i would find it easier to leave the pub/club and go for a wee round the corner or in a bush, now this is where the problem started gettting really bad as this was not a normal thing to do. Since then i now find it almost impossible to go anywhere where there are other people around, like at my mums house sometimes at work and i recently have got a new girlfriend, can i go at her flat or at mine when she is there...NO!! The final straw has been the holiday that i just came back from where i couldnt go at the airport, on the plane or really anywhere, one day i went 17 hours without going and i was bursting but still couldnt go. I have been to a urologist who has told me there is no blockages but my bladder is twice the size of a normal persons which is probably from holding it in for so long. I am having CBT at the moment which i dont feel like it is working at all. I have tried acupuncture, aromatherapy, hypnotherapy, chinese medicine and was on anti depressants but the urologist told me to stop those. This problem is really getting me down now as i now feel as i cant really do anything or go anywhere it has really taken over my life. Has anyone got any suggestions on how to get over this, what are the workshops like ect ect Thanks in advance...
Re: Fed up of this problem, really really need some help!!!
You ARE going through the mill Adam. It seems you have got into the classic vicious circle: i.e. avoiding a situation; that results in lack of practice in that situation, so it gradully becomes a bit more difficult at the next level down until you have to start avoiding that lower level; and so it goes on down.
You then start expecting difficulty instead of success; which makes it more likely that you will find it difficult. It is very hard to break out of that mindset on your own.
I am sorry and surprised that you are not finding CBT helpful. Most CBT therapists have not come aross paruresis before; some cannot understand it, and so may not find it easy to apply the cognitive and behavioural aspects. You are welcome to email me what the therapist is doing with you; it could be that it needs explaining to you?
You could take some of the info off our linked website along with you. The page called "CBT and practical advice" is the most relevant.
Some therapists have got in touch with us to ask about the condition; if you think it may be useful you could suggest that.
As for workshops: we keep on running them only because the feedback is so positive; some of the feedback is scattered throughout this forum. Read it and see what you think. Again, email me and I will send you details of the next two Beginners' Workshops in October.
Keep in touch, keep posting, and lets work together to get you moving in the right direction.
cheers
Andrew Chairman
Re: Fed up of this problem, really really need some help!!!
Have been through similiar mate although not quite so bad now,the more you delay taking some positive action the worse it will get so get y`self on one of those workshops and get control before the F****er starts to dictate your life,all the best.
Re: Fed up of this problem, really really need some help!!!
Adam, your email of the 10/08/08 is a mirror image of what I would say about my own severe situation with AP, I have tried all of those 'alternative cures' that you have tried. I have spent an awful lot of time and money on them but to no avail. However I was brave enough to attend my first workshop over the weekend 3rd-5th October in Manchester. It did not provide an instant 'cure' and I didn't expect it to having suffered now for almost 18 years. Unfortunately I held myself back by not fully participating, but I did get a lot of help/info/encouragement on how to face up to AP in all situations. I intend to do another w/shop and to participate next time and I advise anyone with AP to do so.
