Posted by Phil on 8/1/2012, 10:50 am
I've recently started dating a lady, were getting along really well (been on 3 dates). AP is causing me problems on our last 2 dates. For new years eve bar in Southwark- I visited the toilet during the fireworks (because everyone outside at that time so they were quiet), this didn't go down too well! This Friday eve tate modern, was gone for several minutes before I could go; on my return she asked if I ok & her body language a bit negative. To compound this I have IBS- although am changing my diet & this has very quickly started to significantly help with this problem. In fact I told her about the IBS (I didn't have any problem with this at all) & she was understanding & still keen to meet up again (at least this gives a reason for why I might take a while in the toilet). She has had social anxiety issues herself so is understanding.
However, several months ago I was seeing a psychologist about AP, upon asking he said that before telling someone about AP he advised that I should first know the person REALLY well for at least 3 months first (particularly a potential girlfriend!).
If I did tell her it would be a massive weight off my mind & would mean if I am gone to the toilet for several minutes no problem or suspicions.
I am fairly severe with AP, I have done desensitization work etc, unfortunately I think I'm one of the few people this won't help massively I just have to get on with life with AP- I manage this well & it really doesn't bother me much any more- I use catheters when absolutely necessary. It only bothers me right now when dating this lady.
Is it a good idea to tell her so early on?
Any advice greatly appreciated.
Thanks, Phil565
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