Posted by michael clarke on 15/12/2009, 1:58 am

Hello im Michael ive been a sufferer with AP for many years and it would be fair to say that it has taken the enjoyment out of life for me.Mainly because of the internl damage i have done to my bladder which i know for shaw is a knock on affect from the Paruresis.The doctor said to me for a man of your age you cant empty your bladder properly ie short amounts the flow not being nonmal etc.This has caused mega stress for me and the way my life is for one i never go to bed at a normal time meaning 3.4.even 5.am with visits to toilet i then of cause get up late meaning the day is gone which isnt nomal holding a job down important appointments and not to mention relationships all fall under the spotlight of this bad sleep pattern.Then theres the hours which im trying to run my life i work nights and i always have a worry with finding a toilet and we all know it cant be any place up against any wall it has to be comfortable place for me with a lock on the door and total privacy i also have to wait for other chaps to leave the toilet before i can go.If the door opens i seize up and i wont go its a real nitemare for me.When i go out for a beer i go alone and wait and watch the toilet door so i know when to go in so thats quite sad i then might lose my seat in the bar area when i come back from the toilet.Or what i really hate is when you get a group of people come over when im sitting drinking a pint and say can me and my friends sit here because we noticed there free so my pub life isnt great everyone.And there you have it a day in the life for me getting my space ambushed at the end of the night really puts thee icecing on the cake for being a man with Paruresis.Oh your probably thinking why not let them join you for a drink but thats what im/we are all scared of them finding out about what i /we have. best wishes Michael.

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