Posted by Pete on 12/11/2009, 5:29 pm, in reply to "Off a Bridge (part 2) Off a Boat"

Hi, May I add a personal footnote to this very interesting correspondence arising out of Pete's highly entertaining account of his fishing expedition. Every paruretic must admire and envy his achievement. ( Incidentally I know Pete personally, thanks to this website ) and when he says ,in one of his messages, that he is a "nice bloke" it's the understatement of the year !) What makes us what we are - "nature or nurture" (genes or upbringing and experience) ? As far as being pee-shy is concerned, in my case genes, I think are ruled out. I see no evidence of it in my family - father, son or nine grandsons. But one of my earliest memories is of having a pee in the garden, as small boys do, with no problem until my mother called out that someone was coming, indicating that I should stop and embedding in my mind, I think, that it wasn't "nice" to pee in public Her words may have introduced a lifetime of inability to pee in front of other people. But, of course, she had no idea of the effect her words might have. I had never been taken to a men's loo until I went to school and then sight of all those boys just standing and peeing against a blank wall ( which was all a loo consisted of in those days ) gave me such a shock that I couldn't go. I never used a school toilet in all my schooldays unless I knew I'd be alone. And I blush to recall that in my junior school this led to me wetting myself on one occasion. This was the start of a life of holding on, often in great discomfort, of toilet watching, of drinking little, and of avoiding, as far as possible, anything where I might need a pee - you all know the drill - until I entered the computer age and, about 18 months ago, discovered this website. I confess to sitting and sobbing when I at last found that I was not the only one with this disability and that I could do something about it. Since then my life has been turned around by taking advice from UKPT,by going on two Workshops and, not least, by meeting Pete. The point I'm trying to make is that we are not bound to be as we are by either our genes or our upbringing. With resolution, by persistent practice, by listening to all the advice available and by confiding in family and friends, we can at least take control of our own lives and not be haunted by anxiety about when and where we can next have a pee. We may not be completely "cured" but we can say that we no longer care. I dare to hope that this may help and encourage other sufferers, young or old ( or, like me, very old !) Pete ( another one ! )

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