Posted by Andrew on 10/7/2009, 9:23 pm, in reply to "Didn't know this had a name"

Hi Olivia It is good that you have found this forum, where you will see that your story is not uncommon, and that many people are affected to some degree or other. To pick up your points in no special order. Tickling the lower back is a recognized technique for triggering urination: so it is not weird, it is just how the body works. J You mention your shame and embarrassment. Do read the messages on this forum so as to get more used to seeing the topic discussed openly. And do read the contents of our website at www.ukpt.org.uk, where there is a lot of good advice. Do get hold of Steve Soifer’s book, or Carol Olmert’s (see the books page). Again that will give you case studies and a lot of good advice from two authors who have cured themselves. You mention the benefit of the extension in the loft. In the short term that is useful, but in the long term it merely adds to the vicious circle of losing confidence at a certain level, and so having to withdraw even further. The only way to progress is to start facing one’s fears, albeit in a very small way, by taking very small steps. The website and the books will explain this. Your fear sounds like a fear of being heard, which is common, especially among women. The challenge to you is to find anyone who is at all interested in the fact of your peeing. You will not find anyone who is interested. It is you who feel they are, which is a different thing altogether. One way to start desensitising yourself is to remove the peeing aspect, and the associated anxiety to perform, leaving the anxiety of the situation itself. So when you do NOT need to pee, go to the toilet and go through the motions. Make a noise with your zip, unwrap a sanitary towel. Experience the anxiety and using what you will read on the website and in the books, start to practice managing that anxiety. Challenge your negative thoughts, as if these thoughts come from an evil little imp whispering in your ear. Look for evidence of what you fear. By repeating this exercise time and gain you will gradually become accustomed to that specific situation. Only then attempt to pee in that situation. Do keep on posting your experiences and thoughts. You say typing these words make you cringe with embarrassment; all the move reason to do it, to face your fear and show it who is boss: you. Best wishes Andrew

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