Posted by Andrew on 16/10/2008, 10:11 pm, in reply to "De-sensing advice please"

Hi Mark OK as I understand it you can use a cubicle if: a) you sit and b) you block your ears and c) there is more than one cubicle and d) you are on your own. The principle of graduated exposure (desensitisation) is that you start at a level you can pee at, then change one factor a little bit to make it slightly difficult. When you can pee reliably at that level, only then do you move up another small step on the ladder of difficulty. As Steve says, drink say 2 or 3 pints of water and wait until your need to go is a good strong but not uncomfortbale urge. Go into your starting safe setup, and when you pee, stop after 3 seconds in order to preserve your reservoir. Leave, go back a few minutes later and do it again, until you are comfortable with that set up. Then you could change one thing e.g unblock you ears, or stand up. Repeat the exercise until you are comfortable with that. Only then do you add the other factor. It is all explained on our website and in Soifer's book (see our website). If the step seems too large, then wait till you do NOT need a pee and go through the motions, to get used to being there. Again repeat this until you get used to being there; we call this "faking it". Only then do you fluid load and introduce the peeing aspect, one small step at a time. By now I hope you have got the idea that it is not an instant process. You are retraining your subconscious bit by bit: we say its like trying to stroke a lizard. About the urinals: I think faking it at urinals is too soon for you. Wait until you can use a cubicle with the door open, as a lot of men do. But please read our website: there is a lot of useful info there. cheers Andrew

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