Hi,

I attended a workshop five years ago and found it really useful. Since then, I have constantly been working on de sensing. I’ve progressed well but still have areas to work on. Anyway, last week I travelled to Mexico, a 10 hour journey. I felt relaxed and didn’t really question the need to use the cubicle on board until I had lock up. A few failed attempts later and a few hours of being extremely uncomfortable I felt very deflated. I continued to de sense whilst on holiday by using urinals. They are well designed over there for privacy. I decided to try and have a go on the return journey but no luck. I realise this is the hierarchy and that my sub conscious has kicked in basically telling me, look if you don’t go you are going to suffer as there is no back up. It’s made me realise that I need to step up the de sensing as day to day I don’t have any challenges but any advice would be welcome. Many thanks.

Hi Richard

Its quite common for something new to pop up as you progress up your desensing hierarchy. In this case there was something about the plane toilet that was unfamiliar; enough to unsettle the subconscious. Could you think about what it might have been? The thrumming of the engines, amplified by being in a small “box”; the curvature of the ceiling down in front of you? .

Can you pee in a small train toilet? If not, it would be worth using a train as a desensing location; cheaper than a plane! The beauty of a train is that you can go down the train using each toilet in turn. You could start with faking until it becomes familiar, before fluid loading.

Any thoughts on this?

Andrew

Hi Andrew

Firstly, thank you for what you do. I’ve been dealing with this for as long as I can remember and the workshop was a definite turning point.

In terms of the plane, I have also struggled on a train so there is an association but opportunities to de sense like this are infrequent . Fundamentally, I think it’s because I feel under pressure. That what seems like an eternity is a matter of seconds. Movement of the train and plane also felt like an issue. I just knew that no matter how many times I tried i would not be able to go. As you say the only way to progress is to de sense in a similar environment.

Just to add. I definitely adjusted my fluid intake before and during the flight so I was clearly conscious of what was to come. Also, proximity of passengers was an issue for me. Privacy was a definite issue.

Hi Richard, interesting to read your post.
Just a couple of thoughts.
One. Have you tried sitting down to urinate whilst trying to use the toilet on the plane? Sitting down relaxes the body more than standing so my former g.p said.
Two. Are you using urinals every time you go out and desense? If you are then why not try desensing in cubicles too?
When I’d desense regularly I would go around all the towns public toilets and use the urinals. If there are several public toilets in the town/city you live and you’re desensing the same way then use one cubicle on your route each time you practice. You can use a different public convenience each time you practice so that you’re not always using the same place.
If there’s a public convenience with just one cubicle in it then even better because that will remind you more of the plane.
You should then get used to using cubicles and if there’s only one cubicle in the conveniences you’ll get used to the hierarchy that someone is possibly waiting outside. It could reduce your anxiety and therefore decrease your anxiety when you use planes in the future.

Hi Karl
I actually prefer to use cubicles and find urinals challenging so if any de sensing is done it is with the use of urinals. I tried sitting down but that didn’t work. It made me realise that there is work to be done which I’m now focusing on.