U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

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London beginners workshop 18th May 2012

Posted by Charles on 20/5/2012, 4:51 pm
Message modified by board administrator 20/5/2012, 7:25 pm

Andrew Smith and Dan are miracle workers. Last week I couldn't use urinals in any shape or form and was confined to a cubicle (if available). But earlier today I was able to successfully use the urinals in a busy motorway service station not once but five times (I had to drink a lot in between of course).
If you're reading this and considering going on one of the UKPT courses, please don't hesitate, it will set you on the road to recovery.

Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012

Posted by Sean on 20/5/2012, 8:44 pm, in reply to "London beginners workshop 18th May 2012 "

Just to add my comments, and echo what Charles has already posted.

Yes, it took some nerve to commit, particularly after making some progress on my own in recent months - did I really still need to come? Well, once the practice sessions began I found the answer to be a definitive yes. I feel that the progress I have made this weekend far outweighs any perceived progress I may have made on my own, because I now understand and have a strategy to beat this. Also when I say "understand", I didn't even know there was stuff to understand before this weekend.

I must give huge credit to Andrew and Dan, who somehow made the whole weekend seem "normal", removing any anxiety I may have had within minutes. It is easy to forget this isn't their day job, such is their level of expertise and professionalism - great job guys, thanks. And the guys on the course as well, top blokes, all of them - great experience to meet and talk to others.

I mainly feel the need to write this for anyone else who might have found the site but is reluctant to do anything about it. I have been aware of the organisation for around 7 years and now wish I'd done this sooner - it was only the comments from others on here that finally pushed me over the line.

Anyway I've rambled enough...just couldn't stop once I got going

Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012

Posted by Peter on 21/5/2012, 8:05 am, in reply to "Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012 "

Like Charles and Sean, I had reservations about going on this course. I had suffered from paruresis for many years, and just thought I was resigned to always suffer from it. I felt uncomfortable, and even ashamed, that each time I went in a gents, that I automatically headed for a cubicle, rather than even trying to use a urinal. I had seen other forums where advice was given, but there was no practical help on offer.

Then I found UKPT. I am confident to be able to say that the last weekend is life-changing. I have progressed during the weekend to being able to 'go' using a urinal in a variety of toilet facilities, and not once did I have those feelings which I felt before Friday. I had a setback travelling home, but I know the reasons for that, and I'm determined to follow the process we went through to get back on track.

I'm not 'there' yet, but maybe 'there' will move as time goes on. I certainly never expected to make the progress I did in only two days.

All the participants were great, and Andrew and Dan lead the workshop so brilliantly well with true understanding about where we were all coming from. So for anyone who has this condition, then please sign up and give it a go.

Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012

Posted by Sam on 23/5/2012, 11:57 am, in reply to "Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012 "

Again, just to echo what the other guys have said, it was a successful weekend. Andrew and Dan were brilliant course leaders, never once were you made to do something you were uncomfortable with, and everyone made success in their own way.

If you're reading the previous posts thinking 'I'll never be able to use a urinal on the course', don't let that frighten you off going. I didn't make it to using the urinals during the workshop, but the improvement I made from where I was before, was huge. As Andrew and Dan say, everyone is at different stages and it's not a race.

I feel confident now that having been on the course I know what to do, have goals to aim for, and a solid support group of people who understand everything you're going through; using a urinal isn't such an outlandish thought I once presumed it to be.

Thank you Andrew & Dan, and well done to the other guys on the course - it was a pleasure to meet you all.

Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012

Posted by Geoff on 30/5/2012, 7:37 pm, in reply to "Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012 "

How annoying that I missed this. I'm 48 and have had this problem since I was 15. It was only 10 years ago (thank you, internet) that I realised I was not the only person in the world who suffered from this (when I got up the confidence to discuss this with my GP 15 years ago, he was frankly dismissive and made me feel even more isolated and miserable). Just knowing that I am not alone with this has given me the confidence to use public toilets (and even bathrooms in friends houses) - although always in a cubicle - without crippling self-consciousness; and I have improved massively over the last 10 years. However, I still 'self-censor' when it comes to travel, days out and social events. I will keep a closer eye on the site and look forward to the next London workshop. The comments posted here are very encouraging ....

Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012

Posted by Andrew on 31/5/2012, 7:20 am, in reply to "Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012 "

Hi Geoff

Email me (see top of page) so I can put you on our list for notification of a Beginners workshop. They usually fill up from that list, so the workshop does not get as far as being advertised on this forum. See the sticky posting above about Beginenrs workshops.

cheers

Andrew

Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012

Posted by Don on 28/5/2012, 12:10 am, in reply to "London beginners workshop 18th May 2012 "

Having suffered from varying extremes of paruresis since childhood and over the last several months seeing it get worse than ever it was a massive relief and extraordinary experience to see how the workshop managed to tackle it. By the end of the time I felt well on my way to a cure and have a good feeling that I am on the road to that.

Everyone on the course was great, especially the Workshop leaders who went out of their way to make it as comfortable and supportive an environment as possible. No way did I expect such progress from this workshop.

Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012

Posted by John on 30/5/2012, 8:17 pm, in reply to "Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012 "

Like the lads comments before me, I do honestly believe we all made progress over the weekend.Like most, the difficult part was just turning up on the Friday evening. My progress on the Saturday desensitisation program was really good but Sunday and full public urinals proved more difficult. However what made the greatest lasting impression was the realization that so many of us suffer from paruresis and manage to cope with it in one way or another. The leaders offered much information and support as did all the other guys. I left the weekend in a far more positive frame of mind

Re: London beginners workshop 18th May 2012

Posted by Nick on 2/6/2012, 12:51 pm, in reply to "London beginners workshop 18th May 2012 "

I was not looking forward to going to the workshop. But after the introductions I felt more relaxed. You were not the only person with shy bladder syndrome (pauresis).
After topping up the next day with fluids we carried out the de sensing.I was amazed how well this went. I did not progress to the urinals as some did.But the thing is after the workshops I managed to use the urinals without fear. Since the workshop I felt their has been a big change in my mindset. Iam more able to go the loos at work with less trepidation. I also believe that there is a physical problem as there is a long hesitation when I am at home waiting to pee.

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