U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

This Discussion Board is for men who find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
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Local Group / Pee Buddies

Posted by Rachel on 2/5/2011, 10:53 am

Hi All,

I've had a good read through the forum messages and it's such a relief to know that I'm not alone with this embarrassing, painful and annoying problem. Although it's mostly men on here, we all endure the same emotions that AP brings.

I've suffered for nearly 20 years and am fed up of having it affect every single day of my life, work, relationships and blocking me from being happy, carefree and simply having fun. It's a permanent weight on my mind, a constant worry I'm never without. Time I think to really tackle it face on.

Hopefully I'll be able to attend a workshop in the near future, but in the meantime I wondered if there was any scope for having a local groups section on the site? I'd love to have someone to meet and talk with, who's in the same situation as me. It would be good to have the support of another sufferer and be able to offer help in return. A problem shared is a problem halved as the saying goes - and this is the first time I've shared.

Rachel

Re: Local Group / Pee Buddies

Posted by Mark L on 2/5/2011, 4:23 pm, in reply to "Local Group / Pee Buddies"

Hi Rachel,

Welcome to the message board and im glad you've managed to find it. Its good to hear that you are determined to tackle this and I hope you are able to find someone else who you can speak to.

You're right about the male domanance regarding the postings on here, but thats not to say there arnt any female readers... Did you see this post?

http://members.boardhost.com/paruresisUK/msg/1294096266.html

Speak soon,

Mark

Re: Local Group / Pee Buddies

Posted by Lisa on 2/5/2011, 7:45 pm, in reply to "Local Group / Pee Buddies"

Hi Rachel,

Thanks for sharing, I found it helped me, when I talked about it for the first time on here. I know exactly how you feel, being a woman in the same situation. I try not to let it stop me doing the things I really want to do in life, but sometimes it does. In my case I do have an option for relief, as I have learned to self-catheterise if things get too bad, but I only use it as a last resort, but it still doesn't stop it interfering with my life. I like your idea of having people to talk to, be it meeting up to talk, or how about using online tools like messenger?

Lisa

Re: Local Group / Pee Buddies

Posted by James on 3/5/2011, 3:36 pm, in reply to "Local Group / Pee Buddies"

Seems like a great idea.

I am happy to support any initiative in the Berks, Hants or Wiltshire region.

James

Re: Local Group / Pee Buddies

Posted by Anthony on 3/5/2011, 8:01 pm, in reply to "Local Group / Pee Buddies"

I have been suffering from this problems for the last two years.

In past it was never a problem , but after separating from my partner it came on. I put this down to stress and the relationship ending, although it might not be the cause.

I'm naturally a shy and person I mostly use the cubicles to urinate rather than the urinals.

I first experienced my problem when I went to a club and found that when I tried to urinate even after drinking several beers I just couldn't go no matter how hard I tried.

It didn't help with an attendant working in the toilet and I felt hot and uncomfortable.

I can only urinate once I get home and in total agony on the journey back.
Normally I would have to leave a club or bar early so I can urinate. Absolutely crazy!

Re: Local Group / Pee Buddies

Posted by Lusy on 4/5/2011, 9:08 am, in reply to "Local Group / Pee Buddies"

Hi Rach,

It can be a nightmare, can't it?
I've had this problem since being a child, I'm in my 40s now.
Well done for sharing though...I find it makes so much difference if you can offload, even just on a website and have people go 'I know what you mean!'. You're not alone with this any more, we're here and we know what it's like to a greater or lesser extent. Everyone's experience is different - some suffer quite mildly whilst others have a complete nightmare on a daily basis, but it's not the sort of thing where one goes 'mine's worse than yours' as we should all be here to support each other.
Please post again and let us know how you're getting on.

Re: Local Group / Pee Buddies

Posted by Alison on 4/5/2011, 4:54 pm, in reply to "Local Group / Pee Buddies"

Welcome to the board, Rachel. It's good that you have decided to share your problem and tackle it face on. Now that you have read through the forum messages you will know that you are definitely not alone and that although most posts are from men, there are quite a few of us women who have experience of this difficult problem on a daily basis, just as you describe. I suffered from this condition, and told nobody, for 50 years, before I found this website a few years ago. If you are able to go to a workshop you will be able to talk to other people with the condition and learn about how it happens and how best to try to overcome it. I was lucky enough to attend the only women-only workshop that has been held so far and found it tremendously helpful. And as you say, women suffer just as much and have a lot in common with men who have the condition and I'm sure you will find any workshop very helpful. Meanwhile, keep posting.

Re: Local Group / Pee Buddies

Posted by Margaret on 8/5/2011, 1:42 pm, in reply to "Re: Local Group / Pee Buddies"

Hi Rachel, Well done for posting; it does take some courage at first
but always a huge relief to find you are far from alone. I've had the problem for about 30 years, since I was 45 but thanks to the help of Andrew and many others who have posted , I don't feel nearly so bad about it. My biggest problem is if I am on a coach trip, with limited stopping time, and limited facilities. It's the pressure of'will I , won't I' that does it. At other times I,m OK. Stupidly, I am alright at home if my older grandsons are in the house, but have problems if my two young grandaughters are there. How weird is that?
Anyway, if you can get to a workshop eventually I am sure it will help. In the meantime, keep posting.
Margaret.

Re: Local Group / Pee Buddies

Posted by John on 26/5/2011, 10:24 pm, in reply to "Local Group / Pee Buddies"

Hello Rachel, I am an oldie of 60, but have had a "pee problem" for all my life. If there is any way we could help each other, I would be happy to try. Anything is better than nothing! Good luck and best wishes, John

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