Welcome to the board, Rachel. It's good that you have decided to share your problem and tackle it face on. Now that you have read through the forum messages you will know that you are definitely not alone and that although most posts are from men, there are quite a few of us women who have experience of this difficult problem on a daily basis, just as you describe. I suffered from this condition, and told nobody, for 50 years, before I found this website a few years ago. If you are able to go to a workshop you will be able to talk to other people with the condition and learn about how it happens and how best to try to overcome it. I was lucky enough to attend the only women-only workshop that has been held so far and found it tremendously helpful. And as you say, women suffer just as much and have a lot in common with men who have the condition and I'm sure you will find any workshop very helpful. Meanwhile, keep posting.
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