This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
The Board is maintained and moderated by the
U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.
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Hello all, this has been very hard for me to admit, as no other soul knows except some website that I had been talking to last year because I thought they would help but I realize all they want is money. I think I've pinpointed the disease that gradually came about maybe about 4-5 years ago and now rages through my life. I am a geology major, and it sucks because I can't join this really cool geology club that everyone wants me to join because they make frequent trips to awesome places. I have had a severe fear of judgement when in the bathroom, as not only do I have a severe form of paruresis, but social anxiety disorder in general.
I am looking for any help at all, I am usually a very "go get em" type of guy, but its very depressing and dream shattering when a disease rumages through your subconscious, something that is barely under my control anymore. The only form of public urination I use is sitting down in the cubicle, I can do it anytime, but standing up is like hell to me. My heart begins to pound so hard it shakes my entire body and it gets to the point where i can't even feel my bladder need to go anymore. It is the worst especially when people walk into the bathroom being loud. HELP!!
Good to hear from you. I know that some guys find it difficult to talk about this, even on this forum which is supportive and in effect anonymous. So well done for posting here.
Unfortunately there are now quite a few sites that purport to deal with shy bladder but are really just pushing their product for money. At least you have found us.
You say disease: it is not a disease as such; it is a psychological condition, and so is amenable to therapy, or to self-help.
Then you say you have a severe form; becasue you can always go in a cubicle, yu are at an intermediate level. Severe cases find it impossibloe to go outside their home and possibly one other house. They can often lock up at home as well, if other people are about. I say this in hope that you will see that the condition has not got you under total control: you can still go in a lot of situations, which is good, and is a basis for progress.
As for help, could you read all the info and advice on our website (this is the forum). the link is at the top of the page. The page "Components of a CBT based approach" contains most of the topics we cover in our workshops.
Your referring to being a major makes me think you are in the States? If so our sister organisation the IPA has a website as well: go to www.paruresis.org. You may find that there is a support group near you.
Sorry to hear how this is affecting you and what you're missing out on. As Andrew sais, get reading and theres no reason why you cant start desensing straight away.
Please keep us updated and let us know if you need any advice on anything etc.
