U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

This Discussion Board is for men who find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
The Board is maintained and moderated by the U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.For further information, visit our website, or contact us at

[ RETURN TO MESSAGE INDEX PAGE ] [ POST A REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE ]

Guidance please

Posted by Richard on 5/6/2009, 12:53 pm

Dear All

I have been reading many of the posts during the past two weeks with great interest as I never realised that the term Paruresis existed. It has come as a great relief that I am not the only one suffering with this awful phobia.

I have been able to deal with my issues as I have always been fortunate enough to have a 'safe environment' wherever I have been based ie cubicles. Beyond that I have dealt with this as best I can.

I decided in recent years to not let this control my life and go out, dealing with each eventuality as it comes. However, a few weeks ago I went out to the pub with a few friends. Absolutely bursting I went to a small toilet (two urinals, one cubicle). Nothing happened. Moved from the urinal to the cubicle and after what seemed like an age I went, always concious as to what they were thinking and whether someone was going to walk in. I now have a business event which is a day out followed by an evening meal. I am dreading it but will see it through. This has undoubtedly led me to doing some research.

I guess I am on here to seek guidance. I have had cbt before which was successful and clearly a gradual rehabilitation is the answer. I know that. it is having the confidence to get it under way.

Good luck to you all.

Richard

Re: Guidance please

Posted by Geoff P on 6/6/2009, 9:36 pm, in reply to "Guidance please"

Hi Richard,

As you've read a lot of the posts on the board, you'll already have gleaned a good deal of useful tips. Sounds like you are approaching this with a very positive attitude and that will take you a long way.

You talk about having the confidence to get underway. Try starting when you are not under preassure. Go to a few toilets when you don't need a pee and just get used to standing there. Or use a cubicle and fake it by squirting a bottle of water into the water. Or try a cubicle with the door open.

Set yourself an easily achievable goal. Build up your confidence slowly and don't move on to the next thing until you feel happy to do so.

All the best and keep posting.

Cheers for now,

Geoff.

Re: Guidance please

Posted by Richard on 8/6/2009, 2:46 pm, in reply to "Re: Guidance please"

Thanks for taking the time to respond Geoff.

I will take your advice, but it sounds a strange way of desensing. However, I can understand the psycology behind it, so wait and see.

Richard

Re: Guidance please

Posted by Mark L on 9/6/2009, 12:25 am, in reply to "Re: Guidance please"

Hi Richard,

It does seem strange to do what Geoff suggested, however they are good ideas. Just fill up and go out for a drive/walk and stop in as many WC's as you can.

Are you aware of the weekend workshops that the UKPT runs in London and Manchester? For more info, email Andrew using the address at the top of the page.

All the best,

Mark

« Back to index

670

[ U.K. PARURESIS TRUST ]

UNITED KINGDOM PARURESIS TRUST WEB SITE