This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
The Board is maintained and moderated by the
U.K. Paruresis Trust. Registered Charity no: 1109541.
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Welcome to the Message Board and well done for finding the rest of us. It's great to know you're not alone with this problem, isn't it?
Like you, Ive been suffering with this since I was a kid. I found the site in January and my ability to pee has changed enormously.
You sound like you're starting to tackle it with a really positive attitude and your post suggests that you've got a supportive and understanding partner. I reckon you'll do great!!
Keep posting and let us know how you get on. Also, there are loads of guys and girls who post and will give you all sorts of help and encouragement.
Cheers mate and all the best
Geoff
Re: Hi Mike.
Posted by Mark L on 1/6/2009, 10:54 pm, in reply to "Hi Mike."
(Well done Geoff for starting this thread for Mike!)
Hi Mike,
Im glad you've found out about this condition, this site and the fact you are amoung loads of other suffers. It sounds to me like AP doesnt ruin your life, but just gets inconvienent at times.
There are lots of de-sensing threads on this message board which will help you get a bit of practice in. Remember - cubicles are there when you need them, you dont even have to shut the door.
Good luck with the CBT, and if you can get on one of the UKPT workshops, it will be the best thing that you will ever do! Just send an email to the address at the top of the page for info.
All the best,
Mark.
Re: Hi Mike.
Posted by Mike on 10/6/2009, 7:11 pm, in reply to "Re: Hi Mike."
Hi, apologies for cross-threading. Will focus on crossing streams in the urinals instead ;-) I've already found some threads to be extremely helpful.
Re: Hi Mike.
Posted by Mike on 10/6/2009, 7:40 pm, in reply to "Re: Hi Mike."
Ok, better elaborate on above.
The first step I've responded to is something I read about regarding the initial pause. The advice was that on arrival at the cubicle/toilet, don't expect the flow to start immediately. So alhough I'm still using cubicles I'm not as anxious about the pause before starting. The other issue I'm trying to overcome is hypersensitivity about sound in the toilet. So now I'm trying to avoid becoming anxious about other people/sounds/movement in the toilets and just get on with the job.
Since last week when I first posted here, the improvement I've noticed is I can go to the cubicle, knowing a pause isn't a bad thing, let is pass and then I go with the flow. For me, the next step is progressing to 'loud and proud' (initially with the door closed) just so I'm totally at ease with using the toilets.
Mike.
P.S. As it's my stag do in a few months, I'm really keen to get this resolved so I can have chummy chats with my mates during the anticipated three-legged pub crawls and associated visits to the toilets!
Re: Hi Mike.
Posted by Mark L on 11/6/2009, 11:52 pm, in reply to "Re: Hi Mike."
Hi Mike,
Well done mate, that was good some reading! I was at the stage soon before xmas where I couldnt really use cubicles out and about on my own. When I tackled and overcame this issue, I wanted to move onto the next stage which was in a cubicle, with the door open.
I simply couldnt get started with the door open, so I started peeing with the door closed, then reached back and opened the door wide. I was able to keep the flow going and progressed from there! Just thought id give you the idea incase you get stuck...
All the best,
Mark
Re: Hi Mike.
Posted by Geoff P on 17/6/2009, 9:06 am, in reply to "Re: Hi Mike."
Hi Mike,
Sounds like you are going at a sensible pace. It's so important not to try to rush things. Forcing the issue just sets you back.
Well done for your progress
Cheers,
Geoff.
Re: Hi Mike.
Posted by K on 22/6/2009, 2:41 pm, in reply to "Re: Hi Mike."
Geoff, can't remember which of your posts I saw it on but many thanks for mentioning the loos near Exeter library. I spent today desensing as I had to wander round town while my car was being serviced. You are right they are terrible!. BUT having had a look at them I went back later, as I entered two people left. So up to the twin troughs, oddly choosing to stand next to the join in the middle as this seemed to offer the most screening. Soon in full flow (I use the subtract 7 technique.) When I left I was so elated I did not know whether to laugh or cry! Building on success I next tried House of Fraser, which I had never been into so it was 'sight unseen' no problem there either. So lunch and the big test, Debenhams, I had never managed there before, today no problem. If ever there was testimony to the Beginners' course and the help this site gives then today IS IT!!!! Bear in mind I had this problem since I was 11 and am now 58. I hope this gives encouragement to others.
