U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

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Size issues???

Posted by James on 28/4/2009, 10:47 pm
Message modified by board administrator 29/4/2009, 6:07 am

i'm a 20 year old, and have suffered from paruresis since i was about 10. so a decade now oh joy.

i've considered the old escape route of a quick suicide attempt to make it all go away, but let's be honest what would that achieve. I'd lose my life and that would be a bloody waste.

I just wanted to write this as i started suffering from this during puberty. The time where you worry about everything, like wether or not your penis is developing or developed enough.

at that age you don't really know whether or not you have a big or small penis, at that time i believed i had a small penis, and was embarrassed and scared to get it out in public.

AS a result i did not want to pee in public and paranoid in stalls to.

I have now found out that mine is not small, and indeed over average,
but i can;t pee in public in any forms, and it hold me back massively
i'm wondering if anyone else has had this start from a fear of there size???

i'm starting college in september, and need to reach out for some form of help. So let's see how it goes.

Hope all is going ok for you other sufferers and THANKS if you read my post.

Thanks
James

Re: Size issues???

Posted by Andrew on 29/4/2009, 6:05 am, in reply to "Size issues???"

Hi James

I've come across two cases of severe anxiety over this issue. In both cases the belief of being under-sized was still in place. Talking through the reality of it, one case was sorted out straight away, ot his enormous relief; the other case, though faced with the fact that there was no issue, still found it difficult to take on board.

With paruresis, the cause sets up the link between anxiety and performance (or lack of it). Thereafter the reinforcement of not being able to pee, takes over, and the original cause can become irrelevant. Hence why the CBT approach works; addressing the present issues by dealing with thoughts, and by introducing graduated exposure.

Hope this helps

Andrew

Re: Size issues???

Posted by Geoff P on 29/4/2009, 9:05 am, in reply to "Size issues???"

Hi James

Well done for posting your message. And well done for finding this site and starting to address this issue while you are still young.

Do read the information on the main site. It helps enormously to understand what causes the problem and there is a lot of really good advice there about how to go about tackling it.

Also, you're not alone There are loads of us all suffering in the same way. There's nothing worse than feeling alone with a problem and you're not. Keep posting your progress/problems/thoughts etc and you'll find you get a lot of support from the other guys.

Cheers for now,

Geoff.

Size issues and being different

Posted by Chas on 29/4/2009, 8:17 pm, in reply to "Size issues???"

From an Australian view, size was not the only issue. Born in the fifties, I was the odd one out because I still I had my foreskin. None of those at primary or high school were 'natural'. Although I cannot remember how early it started, it was always a problem for me. Other kids can be so cruel when there is one who is different. Now I like to think it was jealousy.

Paruresis limits so many activities and makes you an expert in planning your day.

Re: Size issues and being different

Posted by Mark L on 29/4/2009, 11:13 pm, in reply to "Size issues and being different"

Hi James,

Thanks for sharing your story. As Andrew said, the caase of paruresis can be irelivent. It takes over you and you just end up 'having it'. Iv heard all sorts of ways its started for other people.

Have a good read through as many posts on here as you can, it can be very theraputic. As mentioned, check the main site for info also.

Keep us up to date on things mate!

Mark

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