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Great to hear all your updates and catch up again - it's inspiring to hear people progress and comforting to know everyone has little hiccups.
I've had a decent few weeks with my AP. In general, I've actually done well from the toilet side of things but I've found that I've been suffering from a lot of anxiety about social occasions which has resulted in some arguments with my wife. I know what you're going to say: tell her! But I've found it really hard to open up about the problem even though I've said that I find socializing often makes me anxious and she totally understands this.
We went on holiday to Holland a few weeks ago. Generally toilet design was a real positive on this trip. I found all the toilets I entered in Holland had dividers - the promised land! There are more AP friendly toilets at Gatwick too now (back of the department store in Departures) - these have dividers and pictures of beaches above the urinals to take your mind off things. I had my first 'enter and pee directly alongside someone' moment here. I found I was happy doing this in Holland if I felt someone was finishing or there was plenty of background noise. At the moment, I find the silence of some toilets makes me nervous - perhaps more nervous than the absence of dividers... if there's a lot of noise it makes me feel that nobody is going to be aware who's going etc.
I've been in some really AP unfriendly toilets going out socially recently - I've been lucky in finding the urinals empty and able to get into flow before people enter. It does still make me nervous the prospect of going in and finding friends going or even worse friends following me directly in. Generally I'm happiest going out with one or two friends because of this as I can time my visits between theirs or when they're at the bar etc. If it is a big gathering I still start to get quite antsy about it... I think in some ways this has been worse recently because I am more aware of my AP from day to day - hopefully it will wear off in the coming months!
The only other positive I've noticed on my toilet travels is that a lot of men - particularly younger men - do opt for a cubicle over a urinal given the option if you're already stood at one of the others... so don't worry about using a cubicle with the door open if you're happier - that's what I am trying to get myself into feeling. I've got a stag do coming up in a couple of weeks so I am getting slightly wound up about how it will all go on that... fingers crossed!
Yes, you should tell her! If arguments are starting because of it, then it may just be a good idea. I told my Fiancee after 2 and a half years and wondered what I was worried about!
Well done on your trip too, again, what were you worried about! Im looking forward to Orlando in just over 2 months time. Will be 1 big practice!
I think alot of/most people find quite small WC's more of a challenge like myself. I am more likely to go when someone is next to me in a large, noisy WC than I am in a quite WC with someone else at the sink! Your not alone there.
Dont worry about the stag do, you will not be at the centre of attention and remember, there will always be cubicles with doors that shut if need be! Its ok to take a step back and shut yourself in a cubicle once in a while, its better to do this than to get worked up, not go and knock your confidence.
Good to hear you had so many positive experiences on your trip and that you have been getting in a lot of good practice in different situations.
Mark is right, mate. Tell her!! Anything you can do to help with your anxiety levels has to be good. Just having to hide something from somebody is bound to bring stress to the relationship and to your thought processes.
This whole problem is anxiety bassed, so to make progress, you have to identify what stresses you, then find ways of combatting that stress.
If you find it really hard to start talking to your wife, how about printing off some of the info from the main UKPT site, and getting her to read it. That way, she has time to take things in and you can just be there and let her ask you about it. That could take a lot of the emotion and embarrassment out of the situation and be a lot easier.
Hope I don't sound like I've got all the answers here. You can see from my last post that I certainly don't. Just a few ideas, mate.