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Unexpected result from a step backwards

Posted by Geoff P on 25/4/2009, 12:16 pm

Hi Guys,

Had a free morning, so decided to use it to get in some practice. I am conscious that I've been putting too high an expectation on myself lately, wanting desperately to be able to break through the ceiling in my progress towards 'normality'.

So, I tanked up and headed for town. I decided to take the preassure off and go for the quieter facilities, just to build on my confidence of being able to use empty urinals.

After a couple of successes and one missfire (too much company), it was time to be heading back home. After a lot of liquid intake and only letting small amounts go each time, I knew I'd need to go again before leaving town. There's a fairly quiet toilet on the way, so I planned to go in there and let it all go.

As I entered, there was an older guy with his back to the urinals and a couple of yards from them. He was busy texting. I went up to the urinals and took my stand. I felt very relaxed about him being there as he was busy on his 'phone and obviously not about to come in my direction. Very quickly, I started to go and really enjoyed the experience of being able to see another person at the same time.

This is the first time I've been able to start with another person around.

I thought it might be helpful for my own future reference to write down my learning points: 1. Relax. Don't preassurise yourself. 2. Consolidate what you can do before trying to push forwards. 3. Don't see a step back as a failure. 4. Enjoy

Can't wait for the London Begginer's Workshop, but trying not to put a massively high expectation on it. Aiming to relax and enjoy!

Cheers for now,

Geoff.

Re: Unexpected result from a step backwards

Posted by Mark L on 26/4/2009, 8:43 pm, in reply to "Unexpected result from a step backwards"

Hi Mate,

Another tick in the box, well done! I aggree 100% with your points also. Taking a step back is good if you've been out of practive or need a slight confidence boost once in a while.

Keep up the good work!

Mark

Re: Unexpected result from a step backwards

Posted by Andrew on 27/4/2009, 9:12 am, in reply to "Unexpected result from a step backwards"

Hi Geoff

Is there perhaps another lesson here. You said " I felt very relaxed about him being there as he was busy on his 'phone".

It may help you to make a similar statement to yourself about any guys you come across viz "he is busy doing his own thing", "he is busy washing his hands" etc etc?

cheers

Andrew

Re: Unexpected result from a step backwards

Posted by Jane on 4/5/2009, 8:31 pm, in reply to "Unexpected result from a step backwards"

Another unexpected result from a step backwards - Yesterday I went out for the day with a male friend (not boyfriend) who I've known for quite a while. By the time we stopped for lunch I needed to go fairly urgently, there were cramped toilets with 2 little cubicles and sink and mirror very close to the doors with gaps underneath. There were two young girls in there, one in a cubicle and the other doing her makeup, then they were both larking about by the sink, about 18 inches from me, and guess what I had my first misfire for quite a while!

Went back and ordered lunch, very uncomfortable, and thought I am just not going to sit here like this. Asked my friend to excuse me for a few minutes(he looked a bit surprised) and said I would explain later, and the loos were empty thank goodness so I was OK. When we went back to the car, I told him I sometimes have problems going when people are near - found this difficult as he is only the third person I have ever told (and I am 62!) He just said 'oh, with me, when I know its difficult to find a toilet, it makes me want to go, even if I've only just been a short while ago', and then changed the subject. I felt a bit silly, but really it was no big deal!!!

Just thought I'd mention this in the hope it will help someone else who finds it hard to tell people.

Re: Unexpected result from a step backwards

Posted by Geoff P on 5/5/2009, 9:34 am, in reply to "Re: Unexpected result from a step backwards"

Hi Jane,

Well done for telling your friend. It's not easy becoming vulnerable to someone. But it's a good test of your relationships. I'm sure your friend dosn't think of you any differently than he did before and now it will be easier for you next time you see him if the same sort of situation arises.

Cheers,

Geoff.