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Hi Guys, Had a free afternoon, so decided to use the time to work on my paruresis. First stop was Exeter shops. Decided to have another go in Debenhams. Have only tried in there once and been unable to go due to the large open layout making me feel too vulnerable . As I went in, I realised what it was that I found so difficult there. It was the fact that you don't go through any sort of door. You just enter through a big gap in the wall, go round a bit of a corner and there they are - urinals, open for everyone to see . I still felt very vulnerable but using the fact that there were very few men around that part of the shop and the toilet was empty, I thought about other things and was very pleased to be able to go . When I finished, I decided to stay in position until someone else came in, then make out that I had just finished when he was standing next to me.
Next stop was the motorway services - your idea Mark. Had been looking forward to trying there for some while and this was my first opportunity. Thought it would be a great place for practice as they are always busy, so you should be able to stay in position as long as you like and no one will notice. I thought I'd be able to go when it was empty ( if that ever happened ) and maybe even with other people around once I'd got really relaxed being there. Ever been fooled!
I drank a bottle of water and when the urge was sufficient, headed for the facilities. I had noted on the way in that the car park was not exactly overflowing but wasn't expectng to find a completely empty row of 20 or so urinals greeting me. That would have been ok, cos I could have chosen my position and just waited for some company but for the fact that there was a cleaner in there. As the sole occupant, he obviously saw me which made it immpossible for me to just hang around for an unnaturally long time, though I did have a go.
I decided the best thing would be to leave and come back when he had finished his chores. I went for a coffee ( forgetting that I was in a motorway services, and nearly died when I found out the price ! ). I could see the entrance to the loos from where I was sitting and quite a few guys went in and out in the time it took me to drink my coffee.
When I headed back I felt under some time preassure, as I'd arranged to collect my wife from work but was still hopeful of a good result. You can immagine my dismay as I rounded the corner into the loos to be met by the same cleaner just starting on another row of cubicles!!!
Sorry, guys but that was too much for me. I headed straight for a cubicle and emptied out
At least I did get to go in a public loo back near home a bit later on but it wasn't a challenge as it was empty. Never mind, I'll just have to pick a busier time back at the services, though I think I'll try a different one, just in case I meet that cleaner again...
How are you guys doing?
Cheers for now,
Geoff.
Re: A Bit Frustrating
Posted by Mark on 25/2/2009, 6:59 pm, in reply to "A Bit Frustrating"
Hi Geoff,
That must have been annoying for you, but it happens. You dont notice how often public WCs are empty untill you are spending so much time in them! I went on a Sunday afternoon/early evening once and at anyone time there were at least 4 people in there minimum and a maximum of 10-15. Try again at a different time maybe like you said.
Keep going at it! It all helps even if it is empty.
Mark
Re: A Bit Frustrating
Posted by Adam on 26/2/2009, 4:08 pm, in reply to "A Bit Frustrating"
Hi Geoff
Nice to pee you, to pee you nice! Good to hear your latest as you always tell a good story with plenty of humour. I found Andrew's tip about music and sounds really useful in public toilets - I hadn't realised how much the sounds affected me until I started trying to solve the problem from this site. I think if you had had some music that pesky cleaner would have been no barrier - it's just the hearing them banging about in the background that gets to me! If you have some music handy then all you have to do is close your eyes and it feels like you disappear (well, almost!)
Good job on the holiday - you've got plenty of time to sort things out. After such a big first week I've done almost nothing since - work has been a bit crazy and I have my parents staying so it's hard to get much practice. My dad doesn't know and I don't think it would help that much to talk about it at this stage - maybe in six months - it would be great to go on a trip together and not worry about it... I think I'm more likely to talk to my wife at the moment. Anyways, keep peeing everyone and hopefully I'll have a better update in a week or so - cheers
. As I went in, I realised what it was that I found so difficult there. It was the fact that you don't go through any sort of door. You just enter through a big gap in the wall, go round a bit of a corner and there they are - urinals, open for everyone to see 
. I still felt very vulnerable but using the fact that there were very few men around that part of the shop and the toilet was empty, I thought about other things and was very pleased to be able to go 
. When I finished, I decided to stay in position until someone else came in, then make out that I had just finished when he was standing next to me. 
