Posted by Geoff P on 25/2/2009, 5:31 pm

Hi Guys, Had a free afternoon, so decided to use the time to work on my paruresis. First stop was Exeter shops. Decided to have another go in Debenhams. Have only tried in there once and been unable to go due to the large open layout making me feel too vulnerable . As I went in, I realised what it was that I found so difficult there. It was the fact that you don't go through any sort of door. You just enter through a big gap in the wall, go round a bit of a corner and there they are - urinals, open for everyone to see . I still felt very vulnerable but using the fact that there were very few men around that part of the shop and the toilet was empty, I thought about other things and was very pleased to be able to go . When I finished, I decided to stay in position until someone else came in, then make out that I had just finished when he was standing next to me. Next stop was the motorway services - your idea Mark. Had been looking forward to trying there for some while and this was my first opportunity. Thought it would be a great place for practice as they are always busy, so you should be able to stay in position as long as you like and no one will notice. I thought I'd be able to go when it was empty ( if that ever happened ) and maybe even with other people around once I'd got really relaxed being there. Ever been fooled! I drank a bottle of water and when the urge was sufficient, headed for the facilities. I had noted on the way in that the car park was not exactly overflowing but wasn't expectng to find a completely empty row of 20 or so urinals greeting me. That would have been ok, cos I could have chosen my position and just waited for some company but for the fact that there was a cleaner in there. As the sole occupant, he obviously saw me which made it immpossible for me to just hang around for an unnaturally long time, though I did have a go. I decided the best thing would be to leave and come back when he had finished his chores. I went for a coffee ( forgetting that I was in a motorway services, and nearly died when I found out the price ! ). I could see the entrance to the loos from where I was sitting and quite a few guys went in and out in the time it took me to drink my coffee. When I headed back I felt under some time preassure, as I'd arranged to collect my wife from work but was still hopeful of a good result. You can immagine my dismay as I rounded the corner into the loos to be met by the same cleaner just starting on another row of cubicles!!! Sorry, guys but that was too much for me. I headed straight for a cubicle and emptied out At least I did get to go in a public loo back near home a bit later on but it wasn't a challenge as it was empty. Never mind, I'll just have to pick a busier time back at the services, though I think I'll try a different one, just in case I meet that cleaner again... How are you guys doing? Cheers for now, Geoff.

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