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Hi Mark and everyone, Tried out your idea today, Mark. Tanked up with coffee and water and headed for town. I'd drunk so much that I had to stop off at a quiet toilet on the way to my chosen venue for today's practice. It was empty and with no one around, I headed straight for the trough. But thinking of your advice, I went into a cubicle instead and left the door fully open. I started to go straight away and aimed into the water for maximum effect! I have to admit that I found the experience rather wierd, Mark. I have more of a psychological barrier to using a cubicle with the door open, than I do to using a urinal. Cubicles are for privacy. Whenever I have gone into a toilet and found someone in a cubicle with the door open, my first reaction has been, 'what's wrong with him?' I would feel a lot more uncomfortable being seen in that position than at a urinal, as it seems to be rather unnatural. Anyway, having tried it, I carried on into town. I'd only let a fairly small amount go, so was fairly desparate (9/10, I'd say) by the time I got to the facility I had been aiming for. It is in the middle of town, by all the shops, so is very well used, though being a quiet sea side town, it's often empty at this time of the year. As I went in, I was aware of another man coming in behind me. I still headed for the trough (I find it's more comfortable to be right by the drain, so no one can see if I've been or not) as he went for the other end. I was absolutely desparate by this time, but still could hardly beleive it when I was able to pee. Now, full of confidence, I left and drank the 750ml bottle of water I had brought with me. It wasn't long before I was back up to a level 8, or so and went back to the same toilet. This time there was already someone at the trough. I took up my favourite position by the drain but found I couldn't start until he had moved away. As I was flowing nicely, another guy came in and I slowed to a dribble and stopped. It was too embarrassing to stay for more that a few seconds, so out I went. My feelings of excitement and elation at today's success are mixed with some feeilngs of guilt, as it is very clear from reading yours and other guy's messages, that many of us struggle for months, or even years, to get to the stage I have reached in only three weeks. But please don't feel discouraged! We all can, and will, get there. Don't see anything as a barrier, or a ceiling on what you can achieve. Do let me know how you are getting on Mark and I'll do the same. Cheers for now. Geoff.
Re: An Open Door?
Posted by Andrew on 28/1/2009, 5:29 pm, in reply to "An Open Door?"
Hi Mark
Men do use cubicles to pee. We have had so much feedback from guys on workshops, and from personal experience; if a stranger comes in and finds the toilet is crowded i.e. say they would have to stand between two others; there is a 1:3 chance that they will go to a cubicle, ignore the door, pee noisily, and leave thinking nothing of it.
A cubicle is just a urinal with bigger screens :-)
You said "It was too embarrassing to stay for more that a few seconds, so out I went." Do not be embarrassed; again it has been shown by proper experiments that men do react to someone coming in by the flow slowing down or stopping, Obviously to varying degrees, based on the person and on the separation. No-one is interested in what you are doing, so patiently stand there and allow yourself to restart.
The record for standing at a urinal doing nothing - to see what would happen - is 20 minutes, and no alarms went off! - so standing there for say 30 secs (which will feel like 5 minutes) is unremarkable.
Finally guilt: you have done nothing wrong, so have nothing to feel guilty about. Instead, posting experiences like these helps others to relate and to see what can be done. The experiences of standing there waiting to start, of having the flow stop and having to restart, of not being able to start, are common to all situations, whether at home, in a cubicle , at a urinal or at a trough. Hence the lessons to be learned apply to everyone dealing with this condition.
cheers
Andrew
Re: An Open Door?
Posted by Lusy on 28/1/2009, 6:27 pm, in reply to "Re: An Open Door?"
..I was going to ask - guilt??? What did you feel guilty about?
Re: An Open Door?
Posted by GeoffP on 29/1/2009, 12:56 pm, in reply to "Re: An Open Door?"
Thanks, Andrew for the advice and encouragement. Lusy, I guess I felt a bit guilty that I seem to have come so far in such a short while, when so many of us take a long time to make headway. I've been amazed at how quickly things have improved for me and I want this to be an encouragement to everyone else. I'd hate to think that there might be another sufferer reading my messages and thinking, "it's alright for him, I still can't do that after months", and actually finding my success a discouragement. Hope that explains what I meant. Cheers, Geoff.
Re: An Open Door?
Posted by Mark on 29/1/2009, 1:17 pm, in reply to "An Open Door?"
Hi Geoff,
About feeling guilty, very considerare of you to have the time to think of other sufferes, when you have had such secess! Im glad to see you have come so far in such a short time, posts like yours give me more determination to keep trying!
As for leaving the door open, I agree it does feel weird but its a good way to break the barrier of being in privacy to being exposed. You however have already cracked the barrier so I dont think there is any need to do this.
As for my progress, thanks for asking, I have just literally got back from my lunch break where I have been practicing so to speak! The public loo I use has a trough which can fit about 4 people. I managed to go when someone was in the cubicle, and I was at the trough on my own which i have never done before. I still havent managed to go with someone else there or at the sink yet. I am going there every day now so hopefully wont be long.
Please keep us updated Geoff as its re-assuring to hear other people's sucess!
Mark
Re: An Open Door?
Posted by Geoff P on 29/1/2009, 1:29 pm, in reply to "Re: An Open Door?"
Mark, that's brilliant. I was thrilled to read of your success. I know you are going to get there. And thanks for saying that my success has encouraged you too. It's great to feel that we are all doing this for each other as well as for ourselves. Keep at it, mate! Here's to tomorrow! Geoff.
Re: An Open Door?
Posted by Geoff P on 30/1/2009, 10:48 am, in reply to "Re: An Open Door?"
Hi Mark, How's it going today? I've just got back from town where I used my usual WC. As I went in, there was a guy I know at the wash sink. He didn't look at me, and as he was about to leave, he presented no problem. I'd just taken up my position and another guy came in and stood at the other end. I couldn't start while he was there but decided to stick it out. Just as he left, in came another one! Still I stood my ground but was unable to go. As soon as I was alone - success! What I could really do with is a few more experiences of being in full flow when someone comes in. But you can't arrange these things, can you? Let me know how you get on today. Cheers for now, Geoff.
Re: An Open Door?
Posted by Mark on 30/1/2009, 6:48 pm, in reply to "Re: An Open Door?"
Hi Geoff,
Keep at it, soon enough you will be in full flow when someone walks in. It may take a while for the timing to be right, but it will happen eventually!
Well sone for standing your ground as well. Its so easy to just walk away when someone else comes in so good on you.