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I had paruresis for about two years. It ruined my life, I couldn't go out without being an anxious wreck. I used to tell lies to my friends like ''I'm going to go and buy some food!'' to go and piss in a bush down the road because I couldn't use the one at the house. I used to turn down chances to go to gigs, go clubbing, everything like that. I came on this board asking for advice, and even went so far as to see a urologist (may have spelt that wrong) and got catheters although I never used them. Basically it ruined and controlled my life, it was an obesssion which I hated, much like it probably is for all you guys that still have it.
Then last year I went to uni. I shared a flat with 11 other people, and had no choice but to use a busy toilet, there was always loads of people in my flat as well so it was a stressful situation.
Basically, after many many times of practicing going in busy places, were I had my fair share of failures, I can now succesfully go practically anywhere. I never get the freezing feeling, or the anxiety. I never, ever get it. I am about 99% over my problem.
Advice I would give people is don't avoid going out, don't think OH THERES NO POINT IN EVEN TRYING IN THAT TOILET, all those things like that. Don't avoid the situation confront it and eventually, with some practice, you'll get over it. I had some nights where I went clubbing and had to be drunk before I could go but after desensitising myself I can now go even sober, anywhere.
Good luck everyone in getting over this horrendous problem, it can be done, seriously, and then loasd more of life will be open to you, and that which was open before will become loads more enjoyable.
Re: Cured
Posted by Mark on 15/10/2008, 11:55 am, in reply to "Cured"
A big well done to you, it must feel great!
The hardest part is getting used to practicing. But how do you practice in 'normal' everyday situations, when you're scared to fill up incase you cant go? Then you dont need to go because you didnt drink anything, so you cant practice!
Its a very hard cycle to break when the problem gets so bad. It takes determination and a positive attitude, which you must have had so good on you.
Mark
Re: Cured
Posted by Alex on 20/10/2008, 11:36 am, in reply to "Cured"
Well done Calum . It seems that you were almost forced into a situation and somewhere along the line you gained confidence and managed to overcome. I'm off on holiday soon and will try and take your advice about not duckin out of things
Alex
Re: Cured
Posted by Bernardo on 21/10/2008, 9:29 pm, in reply to "Re: Cured"
Hi Calum! Could you share with us how was your method of practicing and how many time it took? How did the anxiety feeling started disappearing? Now when you go to a bathroom don't even think about it?
Sorry for so many questions but you're a case of success and that really motivates us. I'm sure you understand.
Congratulations, I really hope everyone to get to that state.
Re: Cured
Posted by calum on 24/10/2008, 10:03 am, in reply to "Re: Cured"
I didn't really practice as such, it was more I just put myself into situations where I had no choice but to go. First I conqured not so bad situations and worked my way up. I didn't practice, it more just happened that I got over it.
Eventually I just got better and better at going anywhere. One thing I noticed is before when I had it I would be hyper sensitive to anyone else in the toilet, like my ears would prick up almost, my heart would be 100 MPH, after a while it just becomes nothing to you, you think 'oh, another person, who cares'.
But yeah just keep trying I'd say that's the key, sorry I can't be of more help, I didn't have a routine I stuck to or anything.
Just go for it!
Re: Cured
Posted by Kevin on 17/12/2008, 7:40 pm, in reply to "Re: Cured"
Hi Calum, Thanks for the messages. Its encouraging to hear a success storey like yours. I'm glad you've sorted it early on and not suffered with it for years. University can be the best years of your life and you need to enjoy it to the full. Good on you.
