This Discussion Board is for men who
find it difficult or impossible to urinate in a public or social situation. Women should use the women's Board.
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Attended the Beginners Workshop last weekend and got alot from the experience. I am now clear on the way forward to reduce the impact the condition will have on the rest of my life. I have a realistic action plan I can follow and incorporate into my life and have learnt techniques that I can work on that I have confidence will help me. Met normal friendly people who helped create a supportive environment for the course to be conducted in. Thanks to everyone especially Andrew for your time; efforts and example.
Re: How to Improve
Posted by K on 23/10/2008, 3:10 pm, in reply to "How to Improve"
It's good you feel you have a clear way forward. That is how I felt after the beginners' workshop I did a year or so ago. My advice is:- be gentle with yourself and take it slowly. The 'maths subtraction' system most appealed to me. A few months ago I found I was not even bothering to use that and was so much more relaxed at the urinal. Crowded loos are still a problem (although I am now loud and proud in cubicles in those) but some (the well designed ones) look possible. This is such a difference that I have not felt the need for a follow up workshop, maybe one day or maybe not.
Re: How to Improve
Posted by Raymond on 24/10/2008, 7:43 am, in reply to "Re: How to Improve"
Funny you should say that about not needing to follow up. my experience is the same, where good steady progress was made at the beginners, before which I could hardly pee even when at home alone!
Now, I can handle most situations except really busy loos, in which case I have no qualms about using a cubicle.
The secret for me seemed to take very tiny steps forward every time I went to a loo. I practiced with complete success just 15 minutes after leaving the workshop, on the way to catch the train. Desensing at home began again the next day right from scratch, and the next day ventured out to the City centre loos where I live with a close friend who I had desensed with the day before, who acted as a "division" for me at the urinals. No problems at all!
Yes very similar. I think the big surprise was that after the workshop my paruresis was simply no longer important to me. When I got home I told my family about it and if I am out with friends I feel able to tell them too if the need arises.