U.K. PARURESIS TRUST

UK paruresis trust

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Excuses, Excuses

Posted by Adam on 30/9/2008, 11:22 pm

I recently found this site to my suprise and relief i must say as i thought i was alone with this condition. I thought i would post my story here as well while reflecting on times of courage and failure with such a simple, regular occurance in everyones life .

When in primary school i was ok, i could go the whole day withought using the loo which was strange now i suffer from this. About half way through school i was shown up in the toilets by a kid knocking the door open (which had broken locks) and the frequent peers and laughter over the cubicle walls. After that i just started finding excuses to go during lessons etc when less occupants of the toiet would be present.

This carried on into secondary school, where ofcourse the doors were busted on the cubicles which did not help as the "smokers" stood behind them peering in and laughing at anyone. Many occasions have occured when i have not been able to go and sat in a lesson in total discomfort and the embarrising thought of losing control. I was 19 on sunday in my third year at college and i still suffer from the condition. I go during lessons instead of breaks which is annoying when your in fully fledged conversation with a mate lol.

I am going roung the local town clubs on thursday which i am looking forward 2 aswell as dreading. I read a story on the board about the bouncers who stand in the toilets, which i have encountered before and gone the whole night in agony. I just hope it goes ok and i find somewhere to go un-noticed.

I know many will agree on how dissapointing it is to walk into the toilet and see a queue or no cubicles free , and the more depressing when the successful access to one results in nothing. I will admit now that i used to feel sorry for myself, how it was just my luck that something like this would happen to me, but now i have found this site i am suprised on how many people actually share this frustrating affliction.

I gonna stop my story here though becaue if i include all of the trips i have been on, long coach rides and many others where this disorder has effected me, you would be reading a book, so i just hope everyone can be cured of this in the near future and let us all not have to worry about the 2 minute trip people take for granted.

Adam.

Re: Excuses, Excuses

Posted by Nigel on 1/10/2008, 8:14 am, in reply to "Excuses, Excuses"

Hear hear Adam,
I wonder exactly how many of us started this problem at school having to use the very poor facilities provided. Trough urinals, doors with no locks, groups of people hanging around intent on making fun of some poor unfortunate youngster who ventures in for a pee.
That's how it was in the 60s and it sounds like it hasn't changed much. Maybe someone should take notice of this and the possible long term effects on people.

Good luck with the clubbing. I think these were always some of the most challenging situations. Best to slip outside somewhere?? if you can. Tell yourself that you WILL manage.

I went to a wedding reception in a distant part of the country recently which was due to go on all afternoon and evening. Went on Google Earth checked out the local area on the satalite images and concluded the venue was only about 50 yds from some hedged fields --- ideal for a quiet pee I thought. How sad is that? Such are the lengths the ap sufferer will go to for peace of mind.
Good luck.

Re: Excuses, Excuses

Posted by Pete on 1/10/2008, 8:36 pm, in reply to "Excuses, Excuses"

Adam, you have my heart-felt sympathy. Please look back on this website and read my initial posting on 08/02/2008 (now on Page 3) entitled "Release at last". You are only 19, you know you are not alone, and you can get help from UKPT so, with determination, you WILL be able to deal with this problem. Since writing that posting I have attended two UKPT Workshops and I would strongly advise you to do the same if you can manage it. I can't claim to be completely "cured" but I'm making progress, even at my age, and feel far more confident about myself. Like Nigel, I have just been to a wedding in a distant part of the country (unthinkable at the beginning of this year) and managed to cope with airports and hotels. Once, at the wedding, I had to make use of a handy bush as the loo was pretty inadequate - but, so what? - even the most "normal" of men can have a problem sometimes! As a start get hold of Stephen Soifer's book - obligatory reading, I'd say - and I wish you the very best of luck in what WILL be your recovery.

Pete.

Re: Excuses, Excuses

Posted by Adam on 1/10/2008, 8:59 pm, in reply to "Excuses, Excuses"

Hey guys, i must say thank you for the support and encouragement you have given (which is really hard to find these days). The thought of having people who care about others is enough for me to decide on doing something about this. I have decided to take thursday night out with nothing on my mind except having some fun for once. Its been along time since i have had a proper time out with friends and there should be no reason for anyone not to do so. At college today i said to myself, Even if it doesn't go how i want it, life doent work that way so i should just enjoy every minute i can. Also Pete i am greatful for your support and i am sre going to try my best to take your advice and get any help i can. I realise now how long i have struggled on many occasions after looking back and its about time something is done

Thx again to both of you!
Adam

Re: Excuses, Excuses

Posted by Lusy on 3/10/2008, 1:25 pm, in reply to "Re: Excuses, Excuses"

Hi Adam,

I'd just like to say well done for coming onto the board and an even bigger well done for decided to think 'bugger it' and going out and having fun. I look forward to hearing how that went!

Also, this isn't even a problem that only men suffer from - us girlies have a problems with AP too, there are a few on the boards.
You are SO not alone with this!

Re: Excuses, Excuses

Posted by Adam on 4/10/2008, 3:07 pm, in reply to "Excuses, Excuses"

Well for an update on thursday it went incredible! Everywhere i went i had no problems (Might have been luck) but not many people were around. That was the greatest night out i have had in a while and i am so doing it again some time . Thx for all your support!!

Adam

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