Posted by Andrew on 19/6/2013, 9:25 pm, in reply to "Getting frustrated"

HI Matt First well done for putting the time in regularly; it seems to be paying off for you. Reading between the lines, I wonder whether you are exhibiting signs of "choking"? If you do not remember this topic from the workshop, it is explained in the blue book. It happens when you care too much about the result of an action, then become self-conscious about other people seemingly being better at it than you, or something trips you up. As in a lot of things to do with anxiety based conditions, the answer lies in paradoxical action i.e. doing the opposite. In this case I find it helps a lot to go in believing totally that you dont care whether you go or not, cos you'll be able to go later or somewhere else. This is the opposite of feeling that it is a test and you need to go or else you have "failed". Remember we told you that progress will be erratic: 2 steps forward, one step back. So going in saying you dont care what happens cos sometimes it will work and other times it wont, so what, takes a lot of pressure off you. Over time the proprotioon of times it works will increase; but there will always be the odd misfire. As for your workmates; can you work out a suitable answer in advance so that you can trot it out, rather than look confused and embarrassed. Remember to keep it simple and brief. Could you say you get mild claustrophobia in toilets, and so are making yourself go in them regularly to try to get over it? The point being that paruresis and claustrophobia are similar, but the latter is better known and accepted by people. Over to you Andrew

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