Posted by Rich on 24/11/2012, 2:28 pm, in reply to "Feedback on Manchester follow-up workshop Nov 2012"

Where to start… I went to the beginners’ workshop in Manchester about 6 weeks prior to the follow-up workshop. I was a little hesitant about going to the follow-up workshop because I hadn’t done a great deal of practice – only two or three desensing sessions, but Andrew encouraged me to come – thanks. I can’t put into words how please I am that I went to the follow-up. At the end of the beginners’ workshop, I felt that I had the tools to control my AP, and that was true, but a few of the old habits had crept back in, and the follow-up was the perfect way to banish them (for good!). I’d left the beginners’ workshop being able to urinate in the hotel room with someone in the room and the bathroom door open a crack – which was a massive step from where I had been at the start of the beginners’ workshop, where I could only pee with someone down the hall and bedroom and bathroom doors locked. I was pretty worried that I wouldn’t be able to build on the progress of the beginners’ workshop, but by taking very small, gradual steps over Friday evening and Saturday, by Sunday morning I was able to work up to the stage of having someone stood with their back to me with the toilet door open. This was inconceivable for me prior to the follow-up workshop and I couldn’t comprehend what I might try to do from there. What happened next was as incredible as it was unexpected. I decided to try to use the urinal in the hotel restaurant toilet and for the first time in 20 years (yes twenty!) I was able to urinate in a urinal. It was an epiphany – such a sudden and striking change unlike anything I can describe. The innumerable small steps and repetition had added up and given me the ability to pee at a urinal – it felt like a miracle, and something that I couldn’t have imagined doing in my wildest dreams prior to the follow-up workshop. Following my success in the hotel, I went out around Manchester and was able to urinate at a urinal with a stranger in the toilet who was peeing a bit further along– and I was able to urinate in a cubicle in a very busy public toilet. I must reiterate that prior to the follow-up workshop I hadn’t urinated at a urinal for 20 years and I couldn’t even urinate standing up in a locked cubicle if there were other people in the toilet – and sitting down was a real struggle with more misfires than successes. Now I can pee at a urinal! What a change. Aside from the freedom that being able to urinate in public places has given me, I feel much more confident in myself – I walk with my head held high and I won’t accede to other people without question like I tended to do in the past. People can move out of my way when I’m walking down the street. I don’t think I’m being overly dramatic saying that Andrew, UKPT and the workshops have changed my life, and the follow-up workshop was a total ‘game changer’. All the small steps, repetition, hard work and even the setbacks have paid off. I know that I will have to work at controlling my AP, and I might take a few knocks, but so what, I know I can deal with it and I can now go out and enjoy myself without having to worry about where I’m going to go for a pee. If you’re reading this and thinking “there’s no way I could do that, my AP is too severe”, remember that before the beginners’ workshop I could only really pee at home with the door locked and other people downstairs – anything other than that was really difficult, and peeing in a public toilet was a complete nightmare. Now I can pee at a urinal in a relatively quiet, spacious toilet, or in a cubicle if the toilet is busier. I know that by continuing to practice and take small, gradual steps I’ll become more and more confident at urinating in public toilets – I still have a long way to go (i.e. toilets on public transport are still a hurdle for me) but I’ll get there with practice. Take my word for it, go to the beginners’ workshop and start to manage your AP rather than letting AP manage you. For those who have been to the beginners’ workshop, I’ll just say a little bit about how the follow-up workshop compared. It is a much more relaxed format, as it isn’t necessary to teach the ‘theory’ behind AP; although topics were refreshed when requested. People could go and do whatever practice they wanted to do, whenever they wanted to do it and Andrew was always on hand to advise/support when needed. As with the beginners’ workshop, all the attendees could just chat openly and freely about AP with no one passing judgment. One last thing, it was really nice to see some friends from the beginners’ workshop and great to make some new friends too. As at the beginners’ workshop, everyone was helpful, kind and supportive (not to mention humorous). If anyone wants to ask me anything about the workshops, please feel free to ask. Rich

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