Posted by Graham on 22/11/2012, 8:10 pm, in reply to "Re: My story"

A bit of an update really. Firstly I can't believe that I first posted this over 4 years ago now! Where does the time go. I went on the beginners course as planned and found it useful. Unfortunately whilst I made some effort initially, life did get in the way and it tailed off. I had another child in 2009 and was made redundant from my job in 2011, so other things have made it hard to focus. I know that they are excuses in some respects though. After being made redundant last year, I got a job working from home (which is good in many respects, but it's bad in facing this problem) and things have probably gone backward since. I am also required to give group presentations in my current job which is another phobia of mine so I guess I'm not in a very good place now. I had a course with work over the last couple of days and really struggled with that today where I tried to go several times in a cubicle and failed. I managed to try again making my excuse to leave during a group exercise we were doing and because the risk of someone coming in was reduced, I managed to go. I was in agony and sweating by then though. I kind of know what I have to do, but it's just being able to do it. Having two kids and a very busy job leaves me little time to consider a structured desense as I don't have the time to do what I need to do as it is. Further to this I have the work Christmas do (which is at a rowdy beer swilling place) and also my first big group presentation coming up and am dreading both. Sorry for rambling, I just felt that I needed to post how I was feeling. I'd love to be able to come on here with a really positive story some day, but sadly that seems like a million miles away at the moment. Graham

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