Posted by Andrew on 23/2/2012, 5:02 pm, in reply to "A newbie (frustrated and fed up!)"

Hi Londonguy Glad you have found us, and I hope you are finding it useful. The bottom line is: yes it is because you are thinking about it. Peeing is something that you let happen; you cant make it happen. But thinking about it, and thinking about things that put you off, puts the body into a position of feeling under threat, and that causes the body to shut down its peeing system. Its all explained on our website, see link at top of page There is so much to explain about paruresis, and about the way to recover from it, that we put it all on the website: so could you go and read up on it there, and then come back with questions. You can do that here on the forum, or by emailing me. As for the courses (we call them workshops) you do not need money; the UKPT makes sure that anyone can attend a workshop irrespective of financial situation. If you are intereted, email me. The good news is that you are young, and relatively mildly affected; so one workshop can make a huge difference to you. The other good news is that you do not care about other guys looking, as you know they are not. So one way forward for you is to look for a spacious quietish public toilet and to go well away from anyone else; allow yourself plenty of time; you need that to allow the spike of anxiety to wear off. Do not set yourself a target to pee; that just puts another pressure on you. Instead say to yourself that you dont care if you pee or not, cos you can leave and try again a few minutes later. And once there think not about peeing, but about what you are going to do next in your daily life. The idea is to get used to going in "safer" situations, and gradually build up the ante i.e. being closer to other people. And this may take weeks and months. It takes as long as it takes. Anyway that is a taster for starters, but do read the website. Cheers Andrew

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