Posted by Cpt. Capricious on 11/2/2012, 11:26 pm, in reply to "Re: Outing myself..."

Hey Simon, Your input is really helpful. I appreciate it. I think I'd get allot out of one of Andrew's workshops but as someone who can't really go a few hours outside I don't see how I would be able to cope with a whole weekend in Manchester. Having a reason in advance would take a little bit of the edge off going into a cubical but what is an acceptable excuse as to why you aren't urinating when the guy who is stood next to you looks left and noticing you can't pee asks mockingly "you just here for the ambiance then mate?"... I can definitely relate to you talking about how the body could become addicted to the symptoms of stress and anxiety. I have on many occasions noticed a pattern occurring just as I notice that I need to go. Think of me as "far out" but I have thought about maybe learning how to meditate so i could desensitize my self to the anxiety for example: I'm sat in a beer garden (yes I know this is a recurring theme but it's not through choice I just live in a place that is only Pubs and Banks) and I notice that I have to urinate. Instantly my body goes into panic mode - it's here where I would start to mediate (for those of you with visions of me cross legged on top a picnic table reciting "ommm" I'm sorry to disappoint you but I doubt this will be the case). I wouldn't need to go I would just be happy to get as much practice doing something like that so that in the future maybe I can reset my bodies "fight or flight" hard coding when I realize I need to pee. Coming back into more relevant territories... In answer to your question Simon I consider shy bladder to be less socially acceptable because I suffer from it. There are of course other issues I have with it as I'm sure you all do. We've all had a long time to catalog the reasons why we hate Paruresis. For me the big thing about the social side of it is that a weak bladder is just your body doing something too regularly. Nothing is happening that doesn't happen to anybody else. It's just happening more regularly. Where as a shy bladder causes and event in which nothing happens. There is a stigma attached to it and there's always a good chance that you're the only one to suffer from it in the whole building. No one can relate to it as it is not normal and so it is less socially acceptable. I know - I know. I shouldn't care what other people think is socially acceptable but isn't that what this whole thing is about? If I could stop living inside my head all the time. Stop trying to constantly judge every single face,calculate reactions, Read minds. I'm sure I wouldn't have this problem to start with. At least I have an angle of attack. I'm not sure if it's the same with yourself but with Paruresis I often find that its not find the solution that's the hard part but implementing it. I have a thousand ideas on how to beat this thing and yet every time I feel the urge to urinate when in public I let it beat me with out even trying to go. Already defeated without trying I retreat into the the last bastion of hope that is holding it in until finally after wave upon wave of what seems like sometime endless, hopeless struggle against yourself the end comes... ...and I end up in a taxi on the way home. hahaha It's hard to stay mad sometimes with a condition as full of irony as ours. One of those "I laughed because if it didn't.." kind of things. Such an epic struggle against your own essence and yet such a seemly easy and simple thing to overcome. Silly really...sometimes. Again it seems as if I've lead myself off on some semi-relevant tangent. This board does this to me. I'm sorry Simon, I'll buy you a beer if we chance to meet at one of Andrew's work shops to make up for it...although probably feel bad because as good gestures go I suppose a diuretic isn't the best present for someone with a shy bladder! hahaha (also a side note does anybody know when the next beginners meeting is in Manchester?)

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