Posted by Phil H on 4/6/2011, 8:56 pm, in reply to "Beginners Workshop Manchester (13/15 May 2011)"

Hello fellow Manchester workshop attendees! I have been meaning to write on here sooner but have been very busy with work. To anyone reading this who is considering going to a workshop, I'd repeat what everyone else has said on here so far, do it! I came across this website after a couple of internet research sessions over a number of weeks after finding my paruresis seemingly take a greater presence in my life over the past year (I'm 30 now but have suffered from it for about 15 years). When I saw there was a beginner's workshop coming up shortly, I just decided to bite the bullet and go for it without much thought. I think everyone was nervous when we met up on the first evening, but within a very short space of time I felt relaxed, comfortable in the knowledge that I was with a group of people who were all in a similar position to me. Andrew provided a very structured, well thought out weekend that included de-sensing and relevant workshops and information relating to paruresis itself. I feel that the information he supplied provided a good starting off point on which to continue working on after the workshop had finished. The de-sensing did seem awkward to me when first described, but any fears I had were dispelled after beginning the first session. I personally made better progress than expected over the weekend and finished the last de-sensing session using a public urinal in a manner I didn't think was possible at the beginning of the weekend. It's important to note that the weekend caters to all persons with differing levels of paruresis and that you're not forced to do anything or go anywhere that could make you feel uncomfortable (in this respect, the layout of the facilities in the hotel where the workshop was held was very helpful). The only downside for me is that I have not had the time to actively put in to practice what I learnt about de-sensing over the weekend. I've tried to introduce elements of it into my normal working life with mixed success (although crucially, I don't look at failures as negative, but instead as a mis-fire or as a step too far and something to be built up to at a future time), but I look forward to having some more time (hopefully in 2 - 3 weeks) over the coming weekends where I can begin to practice it more consistently. For me, the comparison of trying to overcome this condition with that of running a marathon was very helpful. Waking up one day and deciding you're going to go out and run a marathon wihtout putting in the relevant training will almost inevitably end in failure; don't push yourself into unrealistic goals. You need to take your training up in small incremental steps, building upon the success of previous stages. I think it's important to stress the change of attitude I've had towards this condition since going to the workshop. Prior to it I thought it would be something that I would be continually afflicted with. However, the workshop has provided me with a starting point from which to work from and although I know there is still some way to go until I reach my end goal, I feel I have the tools to begin making this journey to what I would describe as a state of freedom -freedom from paruresis. Phil

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