Posted by Andrew on 27/11/2010, 10:35 am, in reply to "Re: Forum Newbie"

Hi Sim Bullying in school toilets is unfortunately a common cause of shy bladder. You have been unlucky there. Knowing this answers the question why, but does not remove the condition. Your threat response has been reinforced over time, and so it will take time to weaken it via continuous positive experiences. Which is where CBT comes in. It is a psychological condition, and so the CBT method used for spider phobia is used for this as well. As for your shame: ditch it. Shame applies to something you have done that you know you should not have done e.g driving through a red light and so knocking over a pedestrian who thought you would stop. Most phobias are due to bad luck: it was something done TO you, not BY you, and so the shame should be felt by those who bullied you. Now they are adults, if they were told of the consequences of their actions, chances are they would be ashamed (we have heard of this happening). Anger is OK, you have a right to feel angry that you have been put through all this. Can you direct the energy of your anger into deciding that you are going to get rid of this miserable condition? You say you find it hard to talk about; use this safe place - the forum - to get things off your chest and to mix with others. It is a safe place; we are supportive and friendly because we are a charity comprising guys who have been through it. Can you read out linked website as well - see the link at top of the page - there is lots of info there. Then consider attending one of our weekend workshops; you will be amazed at the progress you can make. You can read feedback from participants on this forum. cheers Andrew

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