Posted by Jonathan on 11/10/2009, 10:45 pm, in reply to "Re: Disabled toilets"

Hi Walt, I'd say it's a bit like that yes. You need to put in some effort and keep going back to get a return. From quite a young age I started to avoid using public toilets, for no particular reason - so they eventually became an alien environment to me - certainly not the kind of place I'd be seen! Now knowing a bit more about the nature of Paruresis I tend to deliberately engineer situations where I'll need to go whenever I'm out and about so I'm almost reverse-training myself to see it as being the normal routine again because I'm doing it so regularly. And it does seem to be working (very, very gradually). In my case urinals are usually the issue - that's where I'm at, so going back to that environment after so many years of avoidance felt a little exposed and uncomfortable at first even with nobody around - still does seem a bit weird - but I know that if I keep at it and keep challenging myself rather than going straight for the "safety" of a cubicle that feeling WILL disappear with time. Stay positive, practice as much as possible. If I can't go, I'll think of the pain and then focus on how nice it would be if that pain would just flow away and I could enjoy the rest of the day without having to worry about it. 9 times out of 10 it's as though the need for relief and normality suddenly overcomes any anxiety or embarrassment I might be feeling. Block everything else out, it's totally irrelevant. Switch off. Usually helps, if it doesn't at least I tried and there will always be more opportunities. Design issues probably come down to budgets I guess. I've noticed a trend towards individual unisex WCs (direct access, no communal areas) in some parts - always a bit of a disappointment when desensing because they don't offer me much challenge personally but perhaps good news for many of us.

739