Posted by Geoff P on 12/7/2009, 8:43 am, in reply to "Re: Time to face my fears"

Hi Richard, The workshop was great as it provided a completely safe environment. There were eight of us and we were all pretty nervous to start with. We were encouraged to say how stressed we felt at various points during the weekend and it was amazing how everyone's stress levels fell during our time together. It was so encouraging to find that all the other guys were so normal. We were just a bunch of regular guys that you could meet anywhere. We ranged from students to property managers to supermarket managers, to musicians to physiotherapists. A lot of the time was spent finding out about the condition and how to deal with it. This info is all on the website, but it was really helpful to hear it again and in a group setting, as we could all contribute and help and encourage each other. Mind you, there was never any pressure to say or do anything you didn't want to. Time was also spent socialising at the bar or over meals. This helped too, as it all contributed to a feeling of complete normality. We could talk as much or as little as we all felt comfortable with about our experiences we'd had coping with shy bladder, and we gave each other a lot of tips and encouragement. The other activity was a number of desensing sessions. This will sound scary but, beleive me, it just wasn't! Andrew and Coiln are both recovering paruretics, so they know from experience exactly what it feels like. They won't pressure you or put you in any sort of difficult or embarassing situations. I had a particular problem with not being able to go just because someone else knew I was trying to, so Andrew offered to be my 'buddy' for the first desensing session. We went to my hotel room and talked for a while until I felt comfortable. I then got him to leave the room and dissapear down the corridor while I tried to have a pee. Because I felt 100% safe, I was able to go. My feeling of safety grew so much over those three days. The improvement I made far exceeded my hopes and expectations. Richard, a workshop will change your life because it will change your perception of the problem and of yourself as a man. That's what it did for me. But don't wait for a workshop! As Mark said, read the info on the site and start desensing. The first thing to do is find a quiet toilet with separate urinals and dividers. Just go in there when you DON'T need a pee. Walk in and wash your hands and walk out again. Go in again and stand at a urinal and walk out again. Just get used to being in there. Get to feel comfortable. If a urinal is too big a step, that's absolutely fine. Start with a cubicle. The important thing it to start! Let me know how you get on, mate. Cheers, Geoff.

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