Posted by Andrew on 12/3/2009, 8:32 pm, in reply to "childhood abuse and paruresis?"

Hi Bea I cannot speak from personal experience, and I have not come across anyone who has mentioned abuse, so my comments have to be read in that light. However I have noticed that some people have mentioned an experience when young, i.e. pre-puberty, after which the shyness began. The common factor was the introduction of an emotional shock linked to the genitals or the act of peeing. In effect, up that point the act of peeing was automatic and not thought about, and the genitals did not figure much either and were private. However the emotional shock made the child too aware of peeing and/or made the genitals "public"; this self-consciousness inhibited the natural behaviour and became self-reinforcing. Abuse whether physical or emotional would seem to fit in with this. As for advice this is tricky; we are not professionals. However it may be worth separating the impact of the abuse, from the present avoidant behaviour. The latter deals with learning how to manage anxiety in the toilet situation, and also how to practice graduated epxposure, in order to relearn how to pee. The former may need counselling or psychological input just to deal with the memories and emotions related to the abuser, in order to effect some sort of resolution. Bottom line: have you sought professional help? cheers Andrew

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