U.K. PARURESIS TRUST: Re: Workshops are great

Hi Luke

OK.. only you know your wife, but we have wide experience of the extent of people's obsession about how shameful this condition is, and how bizarre it must seem to others, and how others would think less of them.

In practice, the secrecy obsession feeds on itself; when told to other people, it is seen as no big deal, because it is very difficult for others to comprehend its impact; so they do not attach any great importance to it, and often forget you told them!

So your wife will see it as a minor problem, like mild stage fright, and will accept your getting treatment for it. She certainly would not be thinking about it when out.

Some men feel it makes them less of a man; but the fact we have female sufferers as well proves it is not a gender issue: i.e. I cannot say to a female sufferer: "Does having this condition make you feel less of a man!"

As for the weekend: it is not done lightly; after all, it means me giving up five whole days, by the time I include preparation and post workshop stuff. The content was put together by psychologists, and the weekend is intensive. We have had a few cases of people unilaterally coming late or leaving early, and it was noticeable how the benefit they got was diminished significantly; we no no longer allow that on a Beginners workshop, only on a Follow-up workshop.

As for the content, I do not detail it, cos the paruresis personality would just find something to use as an excuse for not attending.

And as for "getting more people to attend"; we are already fully subscribed each time, with a waiting list. We cannot handle more at present. And no one attending has queried the length.

We deal with severe cases (they struggle even at home); moderate cases: they are OK at home but struggle in cubicles; and mild cases who are not too bad in cubicles but cannot do urinals wehn others are about. So you see you are on the mild end of mild. You could even be described as being on the shy end of normal; except that you are carrying in your head a load of negativity about this; just like everyone else with this condition. Have you thought of practicing on your own, using the info we provide on the website? If you want guidance on this, read the website and then get in touch by email with any questions.

cheers

Andrew