Posted by AndyM on 1/12/2007, 10:45 pm, in reply to "Female "pee buddy"? "

Trixie-- I think one of the more painful aspects of our shared phobia is the great lengths we go to conceal it: secrecy, hiding, obsessing, shame. I also think the only way out is through, not around. If you have good feelings about your new boyfriend, why not tell him? It doesn't have to be elaborate or even medical. Something along the lines of, "I have shy-bladder and have difficulty peeing in public loos, or any situation when someone else is in close proximity or is waiting for me to finish. I'm working on it, but I'm not there yet. I hope you'll understand in situations when I might need privacy or extra time." My guess is, he'll be supportive. If not, then he's the wrong guy for you anyway; better to know that sooner rather than later. Your question about etiquette reminded me of a long-ago experience. I was at a big party in a big house and since beer was my drug-of-choice, it was soon time to find "the room." There were so many doors in this place, the odds were pretty much even as to whether I'd find a bathroom or a broom-closet (in those days it would have been easier for me to pee in the broom-closet anyway). As paruretic luck would have it, I found the correct room at the incorrect time. When I opened the door, there was a guy seated on the edge of the bathtub, chatting with his girlfriend who was also seated...pants down (appropriate for the occasion)blissfully peeing away. I quickly apologized and backed out. Neither of them seemed the least bit affected by the intrusion; I remember she smiled at me. I was very affected by it: envy. I wish you well on your journey to Recovery. I hope some way, some how, you'll figure a way to attend a Workshop. In my experience they are the best way to make the most progress in the shortest time. I also hope, in the not-too-distant future, that all of us will become just as carefree about peeing as the girl at the party (within the law, of course). --Good Luck--

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