I really thought it was just me

Wow, what a revelation! I really thought it was just me, standing for an age in a cubicle trying to go and sometimes giving up and leaving, still needing to pee, shamed and embarrassed.
I can remember this being a big problem for me simce my school days, I am now in my 50s.
It effects everything, I plan as much as I can to avoid the public restroom situation, and if I can't avoid it, then I try to not drink so I can extend the time until I get home.
I have turned down jobs because I don't like the look of the restroom set up!
I am married, with children and have never told anyone, I mean, what do I say?
But if we are out and I go to the toilet, then come out, having not gone, I then say I'm going again about 10 minutes later , and everyone is saying 'but you just went?'
This Summer we are going abroad on holiday, I have already started to worry about the toilet situations that could arrive with so much travel, particularly in airports and planes.
I have managed to pretty much avoid it for a few years by insisting on UK holidays, where I can plan loo stops on the quite!
So this is how I have stumbled onto this site, in desperation, trying to see if there is some way to control it, before the holiday begins.
Thank you to everyone who is related to the content here, just finding out it's not just me is amazing. I have read some real helpful stuff here already !

#4437 by Wills

Hi Wills
Really glad that you have found us and that you now know you are not alone with this. What sort of things have you read that are helpful?
If you would like to talk on the phone, make contact with me via the info email address under Contacts. There is so much to say it is easier that way.
Cheers
Andrew
Chair UKPT

#4438 by andrew

Hi Wills and welcome to the forum!
There are millions of KNOWN sufferers around the world. I say known because there are thousands more that either don’t know what paruresis is or they are too embarrassed to admit they have, it certainly isn’t just you.
I don’t know why you suffer from it personally but attending the workshops or/and by reading the posts on this forum you will find that men suffer from it for some of the exactly same reasons you do plus other reasons. Chatting to men about this you will find that men relate to your issues and men chatting in front of you, you will find that you can relate to their issues.
The team are well experienced and great at supporting men with this condition & the workshop tells us examples of how to tell a family member or a friend & what to say them if you’ve already been to the toilet & are going back again so soon such as “the drink’s really going through me tonight”.
Good luck & don’t be afraid to ask for support from anyone on the ukpt team or forum members.

#4439 by Karl
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