Yes, I did go to the Beginners' Workshop in May (and thank you for all the supportive and encouraging messages in that regard) and I'm really glad I did so - a great thank you to Andrew for organising it. I went feeling pretty negative about myself and the prospects of the workshop helping me. However, over the course of the weekend, it completely changed my attitude about AP for the better - I now have what I didn't have before - a hope and a belief that I can be cured of AP (or least get a substantial permanent improvement). Also, I have a means available to do it. I also feel much better about myself and much more accepting of the fact I have AP rather than trying to 'bury' feelings about it as I used to do.
later in May 2005
Well, buoyed up by last weekend's workshop, I took the step today of telling a close work colleague about my AP. He is only the first person I've told after my wife. I found it took courage to summon up the effort, and my voice started to break once or twice. However, it was worth it - just talking about my AP to someone else was in itself great therapy. He was very understanding and took it as a compliment that I'd told him. It can only get easier now to tell other colleagues, friends and family - thanks Andrew for giving us the form of words about how best to introduce this subject to those we wish to tell.
I attended the Improvers'Workshop in London on 18-20 November 2005 and wish to express my gratitude to David and Colin for running such an excellent workshop. Having been to the Beginners' last May, my programme of desensing had lost impetus and I was growing sceptical of the whole thing. The Improvers' has got me back on track and 100% committed. I'm now convinced that I can overcome my AP. If anyone who has been on a Beginners' has doubts about attending an Improvers', put them aside, for it is well worth making the effort. Likewise, if anyone has any doubts about even attending a Beginners' workshop, overcome them, because you will not regret it. Thanks again David and Colin. Oh, and I will be keeping a diary in future.
I've just been reflecting on how far I've come with addressing my AP over the past 12 months, which is when I first seriously started looking at this
site. In that time, I've told my wife, told my GP, told a couple of work colleagues, attended a beginners workshop and an improvers workshop. All in all, it's mainly been due to ukpt (with a little bit of effort by myself!). I'm still practising desensing on at least a weekly basis and now generally have no problem peeing at public urinals provided there is a little bit of free space around me. This is a huge change from 12 months ago when I would just automatically head for a cubicle if I went into a public toilet. Now I make a deliberate point of going to a urinal and if necessary waiting others out if I feel uncomfortable. Somehow, I feel that the problem may be starting to dissolve away at long last. So thanks ukpt, and if anyone is hesitating about attending a workshop, don't - they really are effective.